Page 41 of Office of the Lost

Just as in Vegas, many of the pedestrians clutched oversized plastic cups displaying bar logos, and many of the pedestrians seemed at least a little tipsy.But none of them were human, exactly.They were lots of other things though, most of which Leopold couldn’t identify.

“Come on,” said Crispin, his voice sounding resigned.“She’s this way.”He started marching down the sidewalk.

“What is this place?”

“The Estate.My mother’s home.”He paused.“Well, technically, it’s where the Estate is, at the moment.”

“You grew up here?”Leopold couldn’t picture that.

Crispin shook his head.“No.It doesn’t work like that.My mother’s Estate—her court—is wherever she wants it to be.I think she’s even made some brief visits to your world now and then, just for variety.However, this place is one of her favorites.Unfortunately.”

“What’s it called?”

Crispin made a sound like a brook burbling over stones.

“What?”

“It means Place Where Tourists Believe They’ll Get Rich But They Won’t Because Odds Always Favor the House.Hardly anyone but fae can pronounce it correctly, so most people just call it Odds.”

Well, that was fitting.

And hey, at least the frigging leash was gone.

They walked at a brisk pace past a gigantic store called Nothing But Pickles and a nightclub in which one could pay to watch ogres doing ballet.That I’d like to see.He imagined elephants on tiptoe wearing pink tutus….

The front display at one hotel, instead of dancing fountains or an erupting volcano, involved giant numbers swirling around in apparently complex math equations, none of which Leopold understood.Other visitors, however, seemed delighted.There were also buskers, singing what Leopold assumed were supposed to be songs or wearing costumes and encouraging people to take selfies with them.

Leopold was intrigued and would have liked to explore, but Crispin turned off the sidewalk and onto a sweeping ramp that led to the entrance of another hotel.Leopold was a little disappointed that it wasn’t the one extolling Des Moines; he’d been curious to see what the theming entailed.This hotel was called Prickles, which made sense because the décor centered on cactuses.

They’d barely stepped into an enormous lobby when Leopold dragged Crispin to a halt.“Hey, Crispy.All these cactuses.Um, do they sort of look like….”

“Penises.”Crispin heaved a heavy sigh.“Yes.”

There were a lot of them, some small and some large, some in planters on the floor, some on large pedestals, some displayed on elaborate hanging shelves.They came in different colors and with varying degrees of spikiness.But every one of them was phallic.

“Whyare there cactus dicks everywhere?”

“Because it’s Prickles.”

As if that explained everything.

“Comeon, Leo.We need to find my mother before she decides to decamp to another world.”Crispin firmly grasped Leopold’s hand and tugged him past a registration desk and a couple of restaurants and then onto the floor of a vast casino.Mercifully, the theming was lighter here, showing mainly in the carpet pattern and some of the light fixtures.Other than the multi-specie customers, this could easily have been any of the high-end Vegas joints, complete with card tables, slot machines, and a sports book, although none of the sports looked like anything on Earth.One of them seemed to involve kangaroos juggling hedgehogs.

Leopold had to hurry to keep up with Crispin’s pace.“I went to Vegas once.I’d been fired from my job at a copy place after a couple of the Xerox machines exploded, and I figured I could find something decent-paying there.I liked all the noise and flashing lights and how there were people stumbling around any time of night.It’s fascinating how people lose track of time and discard all sense of caution.”

“Did you find a position?”asked Crispin, who was now leading them toward a curving escalator.

“Briefly, yeah.I had to sweep and mop the floors in one of the big casinos.Normally I hate cleaning, but this was sort of fun ‘cause I’d find all kinds of stuff.Money, unredeemed winnings receipts, jewelry, phones, clothing….Once I came across a wedding cake just sitting on the floor behind a blackjack table.I turned everything in—I’m not a thief.But it was interesting.”

Crispin gave his hand a gentle squeeze.“I wouldn’t think that you’d take things that didn’t belong to you.”

That warmed Leopold’s heart.People rarely believed in him.“But I’m Chaos.”

“Chaos isn’t evil.It’s like… like fire.I told you.It can be very dangerous, but it can also help create valuable things.Think of how terrible food would be without fire.”

Not evil.That was a surprisingly big relief.Leopold had caused a lot of bad things to happen in his life—maybe even his parents’ deaths—but he hadn’t intended to.

They were on the escalator now, experiencing a leisurely rise, spiraling around several gigantic glass phallic cactus sculptures.They were sort of pretty if you didn’t think about them too hard.

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