Page 40 of Office of the Lost

“I have an idea.Take my hand.”

Leopold obeyed, his palm warm in Crispin’s and pulsing with life.For not being human, he did a really good impression of one.

Crispin found himself wondering what it would be like to touch Leo’s naked chest, to lean into him and smell his neck, to…

He shook himself.This is not the time.

“I have to tell you something.”Leo looked suddenly very serious.

Is he blushing?Maybe he feels the same way too.“What?”Crispin held his breath.

The world seemed to stop.Not that there was anything going on around them, but somehow time froze for an agonizing moment while Crispin awaited Leopold’s next words.

“I think I broke Juzir’s toilet.”

The world resumed its movement.It may have grumbled under its breath aboutso much ado for nothing.

Crispin stared at him.“You….”It was so not what he was expecting.“So that’s what the explosion was?”

Leopold nodded miserably.“Tell him I’m sorry, next time you see him?”

Crispin chuckled.It started as a little thing but then expanded into his belly, and soon he was laughing out loud.“You broke his toilet!”Somehow it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Leo grinned, picking up his mood.“Yeah.I flushed it, and it started to gurgle and shake, and then…boom.”

“Boom!”Crispin lifted his hands into the air.They laughed together, falling into each other’s arms, and a weight lifted from Crispin’s shoulders.

Sure his perfecality score had probably cratered by now, but what other desk fae would have been able to get them this far, safely?Certainly not Theodor ur Deepmountain, or any of the other curators.He had done it, with Leopold’s help.Together they could do anything, he was suddenly sure of it.

And what would happen when he finally delivered Leo to the office?Bidulla would want to squirrel him away somewhere safe, maybe even study him.

I won’t let that happen.But first, he had to get them both home.Needed to get them home.“It’s okay, Leo.They have good plumbers on Juzir’s world.”

Leopold’s tentative smile was genuine.“Are you sure?It must have made an awful mess.”

“I’m sure.”He’d see about sending Juzir some restitution once he made it back to OotL.They had a fund for such things, issues caused in the line of duty.“But right now, I need you to take us to see my mother.”It was true.As much as he fretted about having to deal with Her High Fairyness and her usually pointed jibes about his life and career, he needed to see her.“Can you do that?”

Leo nodded.“I can try.”He threw his arms around Crispin and squeezed him tight.

Crispin hoped Leo couldn’tfeelhow much Crispin needed him in return.

“Take us to the Estate,” Crispin intoned.

The Un-Place faded around them, and then with a snap, they were somewhere else.

Leo let him go, his eyes widening.“What the…?”

Crispin blinked in dismay.“Oh dear.”

16

Leopold

Prior to meeting Crispin, Leopold’s knowledge of fairies and elves and such was… limited.And pretty much based on cartoons, Keebler ads, Tinkerbell, andLord of the Rings, for the most part.He’d had the general impression that Crispin’s mother’s home would be a magical forest with giant mushrooms, or maybe a charming grassy glen with a fairy circle of stones.

Instead, they ended up in Las Vegas.

Okay, it wasn’t Vegas,exactly.It was more acid-trippy, which honestly Leopold wouldn’t have thought possible.He and Crispin stood on a sidewalk alongside a busy street lined with enormous, flashy buildings.The street traffic consisted of non-motorized vehicles: chariots, unicycles, and….Jesus, was that lady riding aunicorn?The buildings were either shiny and sleek or had themes.Only instead of Paris or ancient Rome or pirates, these places apparently celebrated spaghetti, lawn mowing, and Des Moines.The restaurants were themed as well; the closest one had a giant neon sign proclaiming that it wasMarie Curie’s: Home of the Glowing Rib-Eye!

---