Page 79 of Promise Not To Fall

He blinks at my words, his eyes trained on mine, and then he leans toward me and kisses my cheek. He pulls me from his chest, his hands on my shoulders. His face is suddenly expressionless, as if he’s turning off all emotion.

Removing my hand from around his neck, he kisses the knuckles of one hand and touches my face with the other. Then he twirls a piece of my golden-brown hair in his fingers, watching it dance in the light wind.

He lets my hand fall away, breaking our contact. “’Bye, City Girl.”

My stomach twists at his words. This is real. I’m letting go of something I know I shouldn’t.

“Bye, Island Boy.” As soon as I say those words, a sharp sting of pain radiates throughout my body, my heart, and my soul. I also think that both of us know, deep down in our hearts, this isn’t goodbye for us. For something like we’ve experienced, there’s no way this could be goodbye.

I had this version in my head of what I need. But then I met Jake. And that picture, it’s not even close to what I really needed. This girl here on the island, who I am right now, this had been me all along. Helmet diving and pet groupers, private islands and cocktails. I’m taking a piece of Jake with me. And I’m leaving an even bigger piece here, my version of heavenly love.

Part of me thinks I should have known when I first saw Jake he’d bring me heartache, and I saw those clever tricks he used, sky blue eyes and the way he leaned against the bar. The only thing is, they weren’t tricks at all. That was Jake, never anything but himself.

When I walk away, I miss him immediately. I can barely walk up the beach and to the road where Rylee and Wesley are waiting. They don’t say anything when the tears start. No one does. I push my sunglasses down and hide.

I want just one more touch, one more whispered “City Girl,” one more drink, and one more kiss. I want to hear his voice and feel his touch forever.

It sucks when you feel too much. It’s complete bullshit. I want a heart that doesn’t feel love. Before I went to this island, I wasn’t this girl who fell for guys like Jake. I made fun of the girls who did shit like this. Now look at me.

The thing is, I had my heart set on Jake. I had my heart set on that too-cool, dirty-talking ass. I did. I’m not fooling anyone. Even my heart.

Jake played a part in that vacation. I’ll never know if what he felt was real, if what I felt was real. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that part of him is tattooed on my heart, a forever reminder of what I’d experienced.

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