Page 18 of War Hope
10
Finn
Two dayswith no call from Hope. Nokisseyface emoji texts. No food...I hate to admit it, but I kind of miss her annoying me.The way she was the other night...whoever texted her upset her. It was like a switch was flipped. One minute she was laughing and the next it's like she wasn't there.I stare down at the phone in my hand.My index finger hoovers over the keys. It shouldn’t be this hard to type out a text. To ask her if she wants to do something, but then that makes me seem fucking vulnerable. And I refuse to be vulnerable again. I was with Kiera and look where the fuck that got me—nowhere.Anyway, what's the point in hanging out with her? She's a woman, and there is only one reason guys become “Dear friends” with a girl and that’s because he wants to fuck her—even if he swears he doesn't, that little idea is floating around in the back of his head from time to time. I toss the phone down onto the table and grab my guitar from beside the couch, strumming over the strings. I pluck out a few chords and then someone knocks on my door.I hope it'slasagneagain...I wipe the smile from my face before I open the door.
"What did you make this time,Ho—" I stop midsentence whenKyan'sugly face pops through the open doorway.
"Expecting someone else?" he asks as he shoulders his way inside and heads straight to the couch.
"No..."
"Not what it sounded like to me." Hepicks up the guitar and drags his finger over the strings. "Finny..."
He cracks a smile. "You're banging the redhead, you dog."
"I'm not sticking my dick in something you've torn up like a meat grinder."
"Fuck off, I haven't fucked her."
"Bullshit."
"Look," he strums over the strings again. "I tried. I fucking tried and I thought she'd be an easy lay with the way she talks and walks and all that shit, but that one..." He closes his eyes and shakes his head. "She's not what she seems. Not even a fucking blowie."
I glare at him.Kyanis a gifted sweet talker, the player of all players andthe proud holderof at least 15 V-cards, so how in the ever-loving-fuck he hasn't been able to get Hope's knickers off is beyond me.
"That's shocking."I snort.
"Isn't it?" He places the guitar beside the couch and leans back. "We went out last night."He frowns. “I think I might have tried to kiss her…and smacked into the wall. My head hurts like a bitch today.”
She was withKyan?I shift on my feet and rub my hand over the back of my neck. It bothers me that she was over there and it shouldn't. What the fuck?Kyancould fuck her for all I care..."Want a beer?" I ask, heading into the kitchen.
"Yeah. Who you fighting tomorrow?"
"WillDawson."
"Ah, he's a cunt. Bust his bloody nose open. He fucked my sister, you know?"
I cock a brow and peek around the corner."Everyone's had a go at your sister."
Kyanshrugs. "Still don't like the twat."I open the door to the fridge. " Larry's got me fighting thatpikey shit from up north. O' Malley, thatlittle shit Brandon hated," he says with a laugh.I hold the door to the fridge open, staring inside at the neatly lined row of beer.Brandon...
"We got to celebrate afterwards, you know?"Kyansays. I grab the beers from the shelf and close the door, making my way back to the couch. I handKyana bottle and pop the top to the other.
"Celebrate what?"
"My 100thfight. I'm going to knock ole'Donaldclean out and we're all going to go to The Showboat to see sometitties."
I take a sip of beer and drag my hand over my face. "Astrip club? God..."
"What better place to celebrate my manlyachievementsthan a place with naked women?"
I stare at him as I tip my bottle back again. "I'll pass."
"The fuck you will." He punches my arm. "Loosen up, would you. You're too uptight, Finn. It's going to give you a bloody coronary if you don't knock it down a peg or two, besides, you've only got a few more years before you'll just be some oldpervyman sat at thetittybar. Live it up while you can." He smiles and lifts the beer to his mouth, taking a swig. "And Hope's coming." He lifts his eyebrows.
"Great."
I can only imagine what kind of fun Hope is at astrip club.Kyanstays for about an hour and it's him talking and me listening. He goes on about some blonde girl he's screwing around with, and every once and a while he tosses Hope's name into conversation, grinning like a fucking idiot. If he's trying to play matchmaker, he best just move on with that shit. Bythe time he leaves, I've polished off 6 beers and am damn near shitty. I flip through channels on TV, stopping when I see a commercial of a little girl holding a man's hand a walking through a field. Her hair's the same golden blondethatLydia'sis,and it sends my thoughtsspirallingdowna deep, dark tunnel. I've lost my purpose and the two most important people in my life over something stupid. Something I had to learn to control.
I flop back on the couch and bunch the pillow underneath my head. I wonder what Lydia's doing. I wonder that a lot and it hurts, I'm not going to lie, but then I remind myself I thought I was doing what was best for her. Back then, when I first got back from Afghanistan, I was like a ticking bomb. Kiera never knew what would set me off. Some days I'd come in and the house would be a wreck, and it didn't bother me, and then some days...all that disorder and chaos just tipped me over the edge and sent me into a rage. I learned to control it, but not until after it got so bad I couldn't come back from it in Kiera's eyes. I don't blame her, I don't...
Sighing, I grab my phone and scroll through the lists of names. I don't have many in here. Kiera. Larry.Kyan. Brandon—I can't seem to delete his yet—and then there's Hope's number. No name. Just her number. Sometimes it helps take the burn off the loneliness to be around someone...
I type out:What are you doing?And press send.
A few seconds later Hope responds.On my way to see you, you useless fuck.
I laugh and shake my head as I set my phone down and sit up on the sofa. She's a gem, that's for sure...
