Page 17 of War Hope
"Finn. Stop."
"My arse is goingto sleep."
"Finn!"
He chuckles. The hinges on the bucket creak and groan and I'm certain we are about to fall to our deaths. I grab onto his arm, digging my nails in as I close my eyes."Fuck you. You're such a cunt." I keep my eyes closed, trying to block out the cold windblowing across my face. "You know that fairpikeysbuilt this, right? Itcan'ttakeyourfatarserocking it like that." Thebucketcontinues to swing. "Oh god, I feel sick." I shouldn't have eatenmybody weightin candyfloss.
"Hurlover theedgeif you're goingto."
"No, I will throw up on youbecause you fucking made me sick,"Isay,grippingthe barinfrontof me sohardmy knuckles turn white.
"Nah, the candyflossdid that.Toldyou that shit's not goodfor you."
Irestmy arms along the bar and brace my forehead on them. "Not helping!"
He snortsbefore he grabs me and yanks me against his side. His arm wraps around my shoulder and he holds me tight, the clean scent of his cologne alleviating a little of my panic. "We're not going to fall, don't worry, queenie." He laughs. "Jesus, you're like a child."I turn my face into his chest.
"Iam not," I mumble against him.
"Really?" The wheel starts to move again. "The fair. Candy floss. Scared of heights...sounds like a kid to me." He leans away from me just enough that I can see a small smirk touch his lips.
Ipokehim in the ribs and he grunts. I bet they’re still bruised from the fight a few weeks ago. "Everyone loves the fair, arsehole. And I'm not scared of heights. I just don't like it when you rock the thing. As for candy floss...Maybe I'll give you that. I feel sick."
Hekeepshis arm wrapped around me and digs in his pocket, taking out hisvape pen again. The sweet scent of cherry drifts on the airandmixeswith his cologne. "Want some?" He holds the pen just in front of my face and I take it, inhaling a lungful.
Eventually theFerriswheel comes to a stop at the bottom and the pikey holds the bucket still while Finn helps me out. That was not one of my better ideas. I can practically feel how smug Finn is.
"You ready to goyet?" Finn asks.
Iglareat him over my shoulder.Say no. Say no. Suck it up.I glance around at all the spinning rides, the flashing lights and blaring music. Ireally think I might throw up.
"Fine," I huff, folding my arms over my chest. A triumphant smile touches his lips and he turns, walking off in the direction ofthecar park. Is it too much to ask the guy to try and have a good time?
The second I get in my car my phonebeeps. Iglance down at the screen and see another text from Silas. I shouldn't read it, but of course I do.
Silas: No one will ever love you like I do. X
Idropthe phone into my bag like it's burned me. My stomach rolls, and that horrible feeling settles in my chest. He knows me so well, and he uses that to his advantage. My biggest fear is that the love I had with Silascan never be replicated, that he's as good as it gets for me. I grip the steering wheel with both hands, squeezing my fingers tightly as my mind drifts.
I jolt when something touches my arm and glance at Finn who’s sitting silently in the passenger seat. His eyebrows have risen and he's looking at me like I've lost it.
"I'm fine," I whisper, starting the engine and pulling away. I never take my eyes off the road as I drive to his apartment, and when I pull up outside, I sit patiently, waiting for him to get out.
"Hope," he says quietly. I glance at him. "Are you okay?"
Inodand look away from him. I'm never okay where Silas is concerned. He's the worst kind of guy; one who can make you fall so hopelessly in love with him that you lose yourself. I lost myself somewhere in the depths of Silas, and once he'd chewed me up and spat me out, I found myselfwandering, lost. Each time I'm in danger of finding myself, he reminds me that I will always be his, because doesn't he own pieces of me that no one else possibly can?
The car door opens andFinnquietly gets out. I lean forward and rest my forehead on the steering wheel, wiling thissickfeeling to go away. It doesn't.
