Page 20 of Rough Around the Hedges

“How very responsible of you,” Isa said with a snort. “At least you’re being safe. A slut, but a safe slut.”

“I’m not sure you’re in a position to judge my sexual activities,” I said dryly.

“You’re really not, Isa.” Shaun poured himself a drink. “What are you going to do now, Ro? You slept with your newly proclaimed mortal enemy.”

“Of course, she’s going to do what every good woman should do in this situation,” Isa said, raising her glass. “She’s going to have to fuck the frustration out of her.”

“Some of us have other hobbies,” I said dryly. “I have zero intention of repeating that night with that man. In fact, I’m now going to make sure to grill my future one-night stands to find out exactly who they are so I don’t accidentally end up shagging some foreign prince who’ll pay me three million pounds if I just give him my bank details.”

“Like a foreign prince would be interested in you.”

“The Duke of Hanbury was,” Shaun pointed out. “A foreign prince might not be such a stretch.”

I glared at him. “I think I’ll pretend it never happened.”

“Mm, that’s great, but I doubt he feels the same.” Isa propped her chin up on her hands. “His eyes kind of lit up when he saw you, and he was definitely flirting. I’m almost entirely sure he wants to shuck your oyster again.”

Shaun pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please stop with the food puns.”

“Yeah, the oyster one was a little insane, even for you,” I said. “I don’t think he was flirting. He seemed more amused than anything, but I don’t really care how he feels. I despise him with the heat of a thousand suns.”

Isa blinked. “Wow. Was he that bad in bed?”

“No. As it happens, he was fantastic in bed, which is even more irritating. I’d rather he’d been a lazy, selfish lover,” I said honestly. “The problem is one: who he is, and two: what the stuck-up, greedy, smug, upper-class crumpet is doing.”

Shaun sipped his drink and peered at Isa. “Did she really let him leave unscathed?”

Isa nodded, meeting his gaze. “You should probably prepare her usual cell, though. She locked herself in her shed after he left and was muttering to herself while stroking her favourite spade, so God knows what she’s cooking up in that brain of hers.”

“Chaos.” I laced my fingers together on the table in front of me. “If Oliver de Havilland thinks we’re going to take the allotment closure lying down, then he can think again. I refuse to give up without a fight whether his closure notice complies with the contract or not.”

“What if you can’t change his mind?”

“I’m going to make his life a living hell either way.” I looked at them both seriously. “To the point he’ll regret ever setting foot in Hanbury.”

Shaun sighed, sitting back in his chair. “You’re right, Isa. I should get her usual cell ready. I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”

I sniffed. “Then add extra cushions. Those prison beds are uncomfortable.”

5

ROSE

The Committee

“How did it go, Rose?” George asked the moment I stepped into Hanbury Church’s second building that doubled as the village hall and the home of the Sunday School.

“Bloody hell, George, let her close the door before you start barking at her,” Paula Barker, the allotment secretary, said. “Come and sit down, dear.”

I ran my fingers through my wavy hair and dropped into my seat at the head of the table, slapping the envelope down in front of my spot.

Nine pairs of eyes were focused firmly on me, and I pressed my lips together as I surveyed my fellow committee members.

Colin Smith, the Deputy Chair; Paula, the allotment secretary; Lisa Evans, the society secretary; Richard Wright, the treasurer; and the other members of the committee, George ‘Schlong’ Hathaway, Craig Green, Alan Walker, Leah Taylor, and Deborah Thompson.

The ten of us made up the not-so-formidable Hanbury Allotments Committee.

All right, so they were the unformidable ones.

---