Page 133 of Rough Around the Hedges

If I could go back, I’d never know the feel of his lips or the touch of his hand. I’d never know what it was like to be wrapped in his arms, to be held in a way that made you feel like the most wonderful thing in the world.

I’d never know what it would feel like to be the most important person in someone’s eyes.

Because that was how he looked at me sometimes. Like there was nothing else, only me. No matter how I tried to ignore it or he tried to hide it, I caught it in those fleeting moments where he’d let his guard down.

I was sure he’d noticed the same thing for me, too.

I knew I looked at him that way. Sometimes I couldn’t help it. Sometimes my heart just skipped a little too enthusiastically or my stomach fluttered a little too smoothly and all my self-control went out of the window. There was no way he hadn’t noticed me looking at him as if he were made of magic.

Maybe he was.

That was the worst thing about this whole situation.

Maybe Oliver de Havilland was made of magic.

God only knew he’d added some sparkle to my life.

He had to be magic. There was no way I could both love and hate him so intensely if he wasn’t. I wanted to throttle him and kiss him at the same time, almost every time I looked his way. I was constantly at war with myself, fighting what I felt and what I thought I should be feeling.

Perhaps it really was time for me to pull up my big girl knickers and do what I should have done weeks ago instead of putting it off. I needed to end this ambiguous relationship.

There were only four weeks until we had to vacate the allotments. All of us had already begun moving our personal belongings, but there was still so much to do. Sheds and greenhouses had to be deconstructed and moved on, equipment needed to be carted around or sold off, and what plants and trees could be moved and saved needed to be carefully cared for.

It was almost too much to bear.

Maybe this was the right time, though. If I said goodbye to two things I loved at once, then I’d only have to feel heartbreak once, right? I could process it all at the same time.

If I didn’t, I feared I might really go down for murder.

And I wasn’tthatfond of a jail cell.

28

ROSE

A Little One-Upmanship

Isquinted at George. “I don’t trust you.”

He wiggled the chilli pepper at me. “Go on, just a little nibble.”

“I dunno.” I took a couple of steps back, just narrowly avoiding Hades. “Is this payback because Hades left a dead rat outside your shed this morning? I told you, he just thinks he’s helping you out being that humans are useless and all that.”

“No, no.” He waved his wrinkly hand. “I appreciate his efforts in the local rodent control. I just want you to try this! It’s my first chilli of the year!”

“I can see that,” I said warily. “Problem is, George, you didn’t label the bloody things. That could be anything from a jalapeno to something that’ll burn my tastebuds right off my tongue.”

“Why do you think I want you to try it instead of me?”

“For God’s sake, Uncle George.” Sabrina, his niece, said, unlatching his gate. “You said you were going to give Rose a break.”

“If only,” I said, waving to her sixteen-year-old daughter, Cara, who returned it with a jiggle of her plastic cup filled with something green. “He can’t even remember what he planted because he threw the packets away!”

“It was the end of them,” he grumbled, wiggling the chilli at me. “Go on, please. You’ll know what it is by taste. You’re a genius.”

“I’m not a chilli tester!” I argued. “Please stop wiggling it around. How did you even grow a chilli to look phallic? Your skills are unmatched.”

“It’s a gift.”

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