Page 107 of Rough Around the Hedges

“He didn’t hit and run, did he? Is it bad? You’re not injured, right?”

Susan waved her hands. “I’m fine. He parked like a prat and nudged my boot.”

George snorted. “Is that it? One little dent in your boot and you’re this angry? Good grief, woman. Just pop it back out.”

“I’ve tried!” she snarled, turning around. “I was going to trade it in, and he’s just cost me money.”

“Ha! You’d be lucky to get a packet of crisps for that banger!”

“If you’re not going to be helpful, be quiet, George,” Rose said, glaring at him before turning back to Susan. “How bad is it?”

Susan pulled her phone out of her pocket and squinted at it. “I took a picture of it, but I—oh, blast it all.”

“I got it.” Rose leant over and plucked the phone out of her hands. “Wait, if I go through your pictures, I’m not going to find your nudes, am I?”

“Rose!” The older woman froze, then burst out laughing. “Oh, for goodness’ sake.”

Rose grinned.

I just about managed to hide my own. It really was no wonder everyone loved Rose—she had a way of brightening everything around her, bringing a laugh to even the most frustrated people.

I knew that because Susan was pretty damn frustrated right now.

“Oh, is that it? I hate to say George is right—actually, I hate to say any man is right as a matter of principle—but it happens so infrequently that I’ll give him this,” Rose said after a moment. “It just needs popping out. I have a tool for that in my shed. Hang on.” She handed back the phone and darted into the abyss.

I frowned. Was there anything she didn’t have in that shed?

“Tah-dah!” She emerged from the shed, wielding a—

“Is that a dildo?” George exclaimed, taking a step back.

—Bright pink dildo like a sword.

And, no.

Apparently, she did have everything in her shed.

Rose wiggled it in his direction. “Correct, sir. This is a good ol’ fashioned dildo.”

I pressed my fist to my mouth. “I’d ask why it’s in your shed, but I don’t think I’ll like the answer.”

After all, I knew what happened in that shed.

She shot me a glare and flipped the dildo around, showing the end of it. “These things have great suction. Trust me. It’ll pull the dent right out.”

I wasn’t going to ask how she knew about the suction capabilities of a dildo.

I wasn’t sure my heart could take it.

My cock certainly couldn’t.

It was already getting a bit dicey down there.

I pushed off the gate with a sigh, and the four of us made our way to the little carpark. It was slightly alarming how casually Rose was carrying the dildo around—even more so that nobody except me seemed surprised in the slightest.

Maybe I wasn’t surprised.

I had no idea anymore.

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