Page 106 of Rough Around the Hedges

Yet another very fair point.

“Yes, yes. Also, you’re supposed to give me more notice than an hour.” I leant against the gate, folding my arms across my chest. “You’re the one who broke the terms.”

“Well, you’re breaking my heart by closing the allotments, so get over it.”

You’re breaking my heart.

Her words hit me right in mine. It wasn’t even a sucker punch, but a crushing weight, one that threatened to make me choke under it.

Fuck.

“What if I—”

“One more word, George, and I will beat you with my hosepipe!” Susan snapped, stomping towards her plot.

George was rushing along behind her, hobbling slightly. “I was just—”

“I don’t want to hear it today! I’ve had one heck of a bloody morning, and I don’t have it in me to listen to your codswallop!”

Rose jerked around. “Crikey, Susan’s bringing out the naughty words today. She must be angry.”

Were the naughty words in the room with us?

“Susan, I’m just trying to tell you that I—oh, good morning,” George said when he noticed me. “Rose, will you stop flirting and sort her out?”

“Who’s flirting?” she shot back before I could return his greeting. “I’m here to put him to work, but he’s overdressed. Give him something to do since he’s here, would you? And what did you do to Susan?”

“Why do you assume I did anythin’?”

“Because it’s usually your fault.”

George opened his mouth to argue, then quickly dipped his head, grumbling under his breath about, “That little menace.”

“What did you just call me?” Rose asked.

“Christ, girl, you got four ears or somethin’?” the old man retorted, straightening his hat. “Just go and see to that woman before she explodes.”

Rose huffed, then looked at me pointedly. “If it wasn’t George, was it you?”

I pointed to myself. “Me? What could I possibly have done to Susan this morning? I came straight here after your threat. I haven’t even spoken to her yet.”

“Lucky her,” she muttered. “Just checking. It’s usually one of you two doing something, after all.”

Like George, I was about to protest but quickly gave up.

She was on the ball today. There was no arguing with her.

“Susan,” she sang, crossing to their shared fence. “What’s wrong with my favourite neighbour?”

Susan whipped her head around. “Oh, Rose, some rabid young punk has dented my car.”

“What a bastard,” Rose replied without missing a beat. “Do you know who it was?”

“Troy Green.”

She snorted. “Figures. God knows how that idiot passed his test. The only thing he can drive is everyone to insanity.”

She was a fine one to talk.

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