Page 105 of Rough Around the Hedges

That was quite the introduction. “Dreamer of birds?”

“Yeah, he chases the pigeons, but they’re too quick for him.” She shrugged and scratched him under his little chin, something the cat enjoyed very much by the way he closed his eyes and leant into her touch. “Just as well. It’s bad enough clearing up the feathers when the chickens go through moult without having to clean up the pigeons’, too. Not that I’ll ever see my babies through another moult, of course.”

There was her first shot of the day.

“You could just put them in your garden, you know.”

She shot me a look. “We can’t. My neighbour’s dog is an absolute prick where birds are concerned, and I’m not willing to confine them to a run for the rest of their lives just because he can’t keep his teeth to himself. Why don’t you put them in your garden?”

I tilted my head to the side. “I suppose I could, but Waffles probably won’t like it. He did shit in my shoe last time I was here.”

“He was just following orders. It was him or the cat.”

“I should count myself lucky, then.” I eyed the cat. “Is he another one of your minions?”

“Perhaps. Every girl has her secrets, you know.”

The cat wriggled, and she loosened her hold, allowing him to pounce out of her arms onto the edge of her vegetable bed. He walked across it like a tightrope and bounded into the plot next door, using the shared fence as a springboard.

“What a hussy,” she muttered. “Shauna shows up, and he dumps me, just like that.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Rose sighed dramatically. “Shauna keeps freeze-dried chicken in her shed. I just can’t compete with that.”

“I don’t know, youwerelooking for a home for your chickens just now…”

“You—!” She thumped her fist against my shoulder.

“Ow, ow.” I laughed, moving out of her line of fire. “Okay, okay, that was too far.”

“At least you know it.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “Why are you here?”

I blinked at her. Was she being serious?

Of course, she was.

This was Rose.

I had no doubt she’d forgotten that she’d called me here only an hour ago.

“You called me and said, and I quote, ‘get your stupid upper-class arse to the allotments within the next hour if you have any desire to see your next birthday.’ I would like to see my birthday, and as there’s little doubt in my mind that you’ll actually follow through on that threat, here I am.”

She scratched behind her ear. “Huh. I did say that, didn’t I?”

“It’s also in our messages if you don’t remember, since you decided to also put it in writing to emphasize your point.”

“No, no, it’s fine, that sounds like something I’d say. Especially to you.” She dropped her hand and shrugged. “Oh, that’s right. There’s an empty plot that needs the shed and greenhouse to be taken down. Big Benny died last year, and his kids have tried and failed to keep up with his plot—got black thumbs, apparently. We were going to have someone else take it over, but, well. You know.” She waved her hand towards me dismissively. “So, you need to take them down for me.”

I cleared my throat. “Why do I have to do it?”

“Because we wouldn’t have to take them down if it weren’t for you, so suck it up.”

That was a very fair argument.

But… “No can do. I didn’t know you were roping me into physical labour, so I’m not exactly dressed for it.” I motioned to my shirt. “I’ll come back another day.”

“That wasn’t our deal. You still owe me your time. And you’re the idiot for showing up here not appropriately dressed. Why would I be calling you to the allotments for something other than physical labour?”

---