Page 46 of Rough Riding Orc Cowboy

My gaze wandered to Ruugar. He still stared into the fire, his body as unmoving and unreadable as it had been since that kiss.

I swallowed and stood, brushing off my pants. “I’ll…I’m going to get ready for bed.”

Nothing. No flicker of acknowledgment, no shift toward me, not even a glance in my direction. As if nothing I said or did mattered. I blinked fast as I turned away.

I dragged my feet to the tent and grabbed my bag, digging through it for the small pouch of toiletries. With the strap over my wrist, the bag dangling, I made my way to the small wooden bathroom structure, my boots scuffing on the packed dirt.

Inside, the single light buzzed overhead. The mirror above the sink was streaked with condensation from the shower someone must’ve taken a short time ago. I ran water in the sink, letting it cool before splashing my face. The soap smelled faintly of roses, but even the pretty scent couldn’t wash away the tightness in my throat.

After drying my face, I gripped the counter and stared at my reflection in the still-steamed-up mirror.

Did Ruugar see the girl who had spent too long trying to escape her crappy life? The runaway, theburden? Or did he see this, seeme, and how I felt when he touched me? Because when he kissed me back, his hand gliding along my waist, his breath unsteady, I could've sworn he'd wanted the kiss as much as I had.

Had I imagined his heated response? Perhaps I’d only seen what I needed more than anything else.

WhatdidRuugar see when he looked at me? Maybe a silly woman for kissing him.

The stark heat of my sadness spread through my limbs like I was sinking, like I was being pulled under. But there was nothing to grab onto, nothing to keep me from disappearing into something too empty to escape from. I squeezed my hands against the sink’s edges until my palms ached, needing something solid to hold onto to keep from falling apart.

The ache in my chest burned.

I rubbed my hands down my cheeks, forcing myself to breathe.Enough, Beth. Get over it.

Brushing my teeth gave me something to do, something to focus on other than how mortified I felt. Ruugar’s silence felt heavy. Final. I spit out the last of the toothpaste, rinsing my mouth, and dried my hands on one of the towels. Peering into the mirror again, I let out another slow breath.

Shoving everything back into my bag, I turned and opened the door, stepping outside.

I collided with a wall of solid muscle. Strong hands caught my arms before I could stumble back. Ruugar’s grip was steady, grounding. Too grounding. If I let myself settle into it, I’d never be able to pull away.

I shouldn’t have looked up. I should have stepped back, whispered thanks, anything to put space between us.

But I did look up, straight into Ruugar’s dark eyes.

And everything inside me, all the edges of hurt, the bitter ache of loneliness, tilted toward him like a flower seeking sunlight. Like my body had decided, without my permission, that he was what I needed most.

The contact hit like a spark catching dry tinder. His warmth, his scent, so frustratingly familiar, closed around me, stealing my breath before I could stop. My hands splayed over his chest, and for a moment, I didn’t move. I couldn’t. This close, our shadows stretching together under the dim lantern light, it would be so easy to rise onto my toes and kiss him again. I’d?—

I needed to stop that train of thought right away, but I couldn’t seem to do it. He’d made no effort to move away. He didn’t let go.

Neither of us spoke.

Without a word, he released me and stepped past, ducking into the small bathroom. Between one heartbeat and the next, the moment fell apart. Chilly night air replaced the warmth where his hands had been, making me very much aware of his absence. My arms still tingled where he'd touched me, my body refusing to admit that it was over. It was only a simple touch, too short a time to mean a thing to him, but too long a time for me to forget.

I exhaled and turned, walking back to the tent.

Inside, the space seemed even smaller than before.The air felt heavy with tension, even though Ruugar wasn’t here yet. I knelt on the sleeping bag and tugged my shirt over my head, quickly unfastening my pants and sliding them off my legs. The cool night air kissed my bare skin, raising prickles along my thighs as I rummaged in my bag for the oversized shirt I wore to bed.

Goosebumps shivered across my skin. I wanted him to see me. To notice me as Beth, as a woman who craved him, who ached for the heat of his body pressed against mine. I swallowed hard, my fingers clenching around the fabric of my nightshirt, caught between the sting of rejection and the desperate hope that his reaction meant something more than regret.

The tent flap snapped back. Ruugar ducked inside, but the instant he took in the sight of me still kneeling, still daydreaming, wearing only a bra and panties, his gaze raked across my body.

Heat slammed into me like a wave. My breath snagged, and my skin tightened under his perusal. The look in his eyes shouted hunger, but just as quickly as it came, he shuttered his gaze. With a muffled groan, he flung himself out through the open tent flap, escaping into the night.

The gust of air he left behind barely stirred the space, yet I felt too cold. Exposed.

Like the last bit of hope I’d been foolish enough to hold on to had fallen apart.

Chapter 16

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