Page 45 of Rough Riding Orc Cowboy

I swallowed around the ache and focused on chopping cragroot.

We all ate dinner together at the table inside the gazebo, the guests gushing about the orc meal and complimenting both me and Ruugar. I’d only cut vegetables and made the chumblings, but the joy they’d taken in this simple thing I’d done for themmade my cheeks get hot and happiness surge through me.

But all I had to do was glance at Ruugar for my mood to fall. He’d stared at me throughout the meal, and I suspected a confrontation was coming where he’d chew me out for kissing him and tell me in no uncertain terms never to do it again. I’d do my best to act businesslike when he told me. And I’d do my best not to cry.

Because I’d liked our kiss. Especially liked it when he flipped me onto my back and laid on top of me. I may not have kissed much or had sex, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t read books with steamy scenes or touched myself. I knew what brought my body pleasure, and inside that tent? It had been Ruugar.

After dinner, the guests returned to the fire to toast marshmallows and make s’mores while Ruugar and I cleaned up. As we worked, he didn’t say a word, and I didn’t dare say anything myself. I was afraid if I spoke, he’d start laying down the rules. Such as no kisses. And then I’d really cry. It was all I could do not to let them fall right now.

We joined the others at the fire, and it was fun. I’d never been camping before, though I’d watched movies where people camped, and always thought I’d enjoy it. The crackling fire sent up twisting ribbons of smoke that curled into the night air. Embers glowed orange and tiny sparks soaring toward the sky before vanishing into darkness. The scent of burning wood mixed with the faint spice of whatever orc seasoning Ruugar had used on the meat clung to my clothes and skin.

Mary laughed and nudged Joel with her elbow, the two of them sitting close together. He grinned and linked their fingers. Across the fire, Carol tucked her legs beneath her, leaning into Pete’s side as he murmured something into her ear. They were all so at ease, so wrapped up in each other.

Love looked easy for them, effortless in the way their bodies gravitated together, as if their love had settled comfortably between them. In the soft glow of the fire, every touch was casual, natural, assumed. I wondered if Ruugar had ever held someone like that. IfIcould be someone he’d hold like that. The thought bit into my chest, pressing against the loneliness that had taken root long before tonight. A hollow feeling spread through me, deep enough that even the warmth of the fire couldn’t touch it. Sitting next to him but never close enough made me feel like I was on the outside looking in, standing on the edges of something I wasn’t meant to ever touch.

I should’ve felt part of this warmth everyone was sharing, but I didn’t.

Beyond the firelight, the trees stretched tall and dark, their shadows shifting, their leaves rustled in the breeze. Ripples from the falls echoed over the clearing. It should’ve been calming, but my chest felt too tight.

Ruugar sat to my right, his long legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles, his shoulders stayed hunched forward as he stared into the flames. The flickering light created sharp shadows on his face. His tusks gleamed in the firelight, and his brow stayed furrowed inthought.

He hadn’t truly looked at me once. Not since dinner. Not since what happened inside the tent.

Heat crept up my neck, embarrassment and regret curling hot in my belly. He was acting calm now, distant, like nothing had happened. Like our kiss, his hand on my waist, his mouth crashing on mine, was a mistake that could easily be forgotten.

I wanted to look away, to focus on the stars scattered above us like winking gemstones, but my gaze kept returning to him. I’d never wanted anything more, and I’d never felt more foolish for it.

Mary stretched with a contented sigh, then leaned into Joel’s side. “Well, today was just perfect.” She squeezed his arm. “The ride couldn’t have been better, and my ass isn't even that sore. Top that off with the amazing orc meal prepared by Ruugar and Ben.” She lifted her drink in a toast echoed by the others. “Now we get to savor this lovely evening together. I’m stuffed full of s’mores, cragroot, and the loin burger Ruugar grilled to perfection. I’m going to sleep amazingly well with all this fresh air around.” Her low laugh rang out. “Again, thanks to Ruugar and Ben for making this seamless and fun.”

“You're welcome,” Ruugar said, speaking pretty much for the first time in what felt like hours.

I murmured the same thing.

Joel chuckled, kissing Mary's cheek. “Best meal I’ve had in ages. And that fire makes me feel like we’re young again, doesn’t it?” His gaze swept across the group. “My wife and I used to camp whenwe first got married. Really roughing it with just a double sleeping bag and the wide-open sky above. A fire, sure, and we'd cook over it. Can't get much better than that, other than this.” He lifted his drink toward us all. “To another great day tomorrow.”

All of us raised our drinks and took sips.

Mary chuckled, resting her hand over his. “On that note, I know better than to stay up too late. My bones will make me pay for it in the morning.”

“Oh, I’ll be massaging that knee of yours, don’t you worry.” Joel’s voice dropped into something quieter, something meant only for her.

Her laughter shouted out her affection. “Goodnight, everyone.” She rose, pulling Joel up with her.

They walked toward their cabin hand in hand, their shoulders brushing like a couple who’d long since become parts of each other, like breathing and heartbeats.

Carol stood next, smiling at Pete as she reached for his hand. “Bed, love?”

Standing, Pete grinned. “Is that an invitation?”

She rolled her eyes but tipped her face up for a kiss, one he gladly gave, slow and lingering, like they had all the time in the world to savor each other. “Goodnight.”

“Y’all have sweet dreams now,” Pete added, winking as he led Carol toward their own cabin, her laughing softly as they disappeared inside.

As they took turns in the bathroom building, the fire continued to crackle, and once they'd shut out their cabin lights, the night got quieter. Emptier.

I remained in my chair, my arms wrapped around my middle, watching the flames flicker and the shadows they cast. Pete had kissed Carol like she was something to be cherished. Joel had teased his wife with equal sweetness.

I didn’t know what romance like that felt like.

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