Page 90 of Revealing Mark
“They are. They’re like older versions of you.”
He grinned. “And you thought you had it bad with just one of me.”
I was feeling more emotional, thinking back to how scared I was, but even the fact that we had not been on speaking terms hadn’t stopped him from being there for me.
“You okay?” he asked when I started to tear up.
“I just wanted to say thank you for coming,” I managed, feeling the burn in my throat.
“That’s not necessary. We might have disagreements and you might hate how protective I can be, but nothing would have stood in the way of me being there for you.” I embraced him and he hugged me as gently as he could. “And I’m just glad you’re okay.”
He paused. “When you first called I thought it was a lot worse. It was the worst five minutes of my life, rushing to get to you.” He looked visibly shaken as he thought back.
“I was so scared…until I saw you,” I breathed. I couldn’t put into words how much his presence had helped me through the traumatic and scary experience. It was still too much to think about. I still experienced an overwhelming sense of panic every time I remembered the details of my accident.
It should have been Mark, I couldn’t help but think, feeling disappointed all over again. It was draining me to keep thinking about it. Somehow I had to stop myself from rehashing it over again and again. I would handle it when he showed up. At some point he would but it wasn’t something I was looking forward to.
Matthew stayed for a while. I think he could tell the ‘missing Mark’ thing was bugging me, but I think he still found it difficult to think of his best friend and his sister together. I wasn’t sure for how much longer that would be the case.
“You let me know if you need any help with the insurance and stuff like that,” he had offered before leaving.
I sighed when I was finally alone. It was late already and I checked my phone again, knowing there had been no communication from Mark. Not a call, not a text, just nothing. Who just disappeared like that without telling anyone anything?
It reminded me of the evening when he had tried to drink himself into oblivion. He had been upset about his grandfather. Was that what this was about? Had something else happened? Iwas going around in circles and getting nowhere. There would be no way to know until Mark was around to answer my questions.
Feeling achy, I took some more painkillers and crawled onto my bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Eventually the medication took effect and I drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
When I moved, I felt the heaviness of someone beside me. It was dark but I knew I wasn’t alone. It could only be one person. The thought would have lifted me before but this time it only brought a heaviness I couldn’t ignore. The fogginess in my mind was crowded with questions that had plagued me since my car accident. Where had he been? Why hadn’t he called? Why?
“I’m sorry,” Mark breathed, lying beside me in the bed.
The pain I felt in my chest had nothing to do with my injury. I lay there for a few moments before I struggled to sit up, the ache in my chest making it difficult to right myself and breathe at the same time. Mark helped me but I shoved his hands away. I was too angry to let him near me. I flicked on the light beside my bed before standing up to face him.
I had to keep my distance to be able to face him without his presence overpowering me. To keep a clear head, I had to keep him from touching me.
It would be so easy to give in to the need to hold him and breathe him in, ignoring the anger that he hadn’t been there when I had needed him the most. I felt let down and I allowed that feeling to flourish.
He looked awful. His hair was messed up and he looked like he hadn’t slept. There was a tiredness in his shoulders that I had never seen before and I felt a pang of something, but anger was my overriding emotion and nothing was going to soften it.
His jacket and boots littered the floor.
“Where were you?” My chest felt tight and I kept a hold on the turmoil inside, especially when I remembered the immediate panic after the accident and being unable to get hold of him.
He moved off the bed, closer to me, but I wasn’t having that so I moved away. “Don’t.”
He was dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans. The shirt was wrinkled.
“How are you feeling?” His hand rose to touch my bandage but he didn’t touch me.
“I’ll be fine,” I replied, tight-lipped, when all I wanted to do was yell at him. “But I’m not sure we are.”
I wanted nothing more than an explanation that would rectify all that was wrong but I was skeptical that would happen.
He let out a heavy sigh and dragged a hand through his hair. “I know saying I’m sorry doesn’t sound like much but not being there for you will haunt me.”
The emotion was overwhelming and I put my hand to my mouth. Was I a sucker for punishment? Seeing him like this made me want to tell him everything would be okay, but I just couldn’t do it.
