Page 76 of Loving Taylor
"I didn't read it." She tried another angle but it didn't matter. Even though I knew she hadn't read all of it, I couldn't be sure she hadn't read at least some of it. But that didn't matter. She was in possession of it and that was bad enough.
"Connor gave it to me, but I never read it."
It made sense that her meddling brother would do everything possible to ensure she had every reason to walk away from me. I took a measured breath, feeling the depth of my anger skyrocket. In that moment I hated both of them. The brother who couldn't allow his sister to live her own life, and Taylor, who wasn't strong enough to tell her brother to stay out of her business.
"Why?" I asked.
"I told you he was overprotective. This is him taking the over protectiveness a step too far." Her eyes held my dark, brooding gaze.
"Yeah, I get it. One look at me and he knew I was no good," I finally said out loud what I had been thinking from the moment I had met her.
"You are good—"
"I trusted you," I said, feeling the tightness in my throat.
You broke your rules and this is what happens when you let someone in. I had worked so hard to keep people at a distance and the first person I had let in had effectively ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.
I looked down at the floor to keep myself together. "I opened up to you and told you things I don't tell many people."
She closed the distance between us but I wasn't going to let her near me. I moved away from her. She gave me another pleading look before the hopelessness filled her big blue eyes when she realized she couldn't say anything to fix the damage that had been done.
The hatred I directed at her made her close her arms around her waist protectively but I told myself I didn't care. I wanted her to hurt like I was hurting.
"If you wanted to know so badly, all you had to do was ask. If you'd asked...I would have told you." My voice broke slightly.
She teared up and bit down on her lip. My heart tightened at the sight but I hardened myself against her.
"There are a lot of things I've done that I'm not proud of." I raked a hand through my hair, feeling like the earth beneath my feet was being yanked away. "I did them for survival."
She of all people knew what it was like hiding a childhood that she didn't want anyone to know about.
"After I found out about your past, I didn't want you to find out about some of the stuff from my past. I was scared about how you would handle it," I whispered, feeling the control I was exerting was about to snap and I was going to break in front of her.
My anger was replaced by a desolate feeling of sadness that there was no going back to a place where we could be together. I had just discovered a happiness I had thought was not possible and it was being torn from me. The pain was indescribable.
"But it doesn't matter anymore." The finality in my voice made her eyes mirror the heartache I was feeling.
There was no hope and I had to ensure she knew it. I could still see the glimmer of hope in the depth of her eyes. I couldn't allow her to hold on to that, not when I was sure I wouldn't be able to put myself in this situation again.
I had a set of rules that had kept my heart safe and the only way to survive would be to ensure I never broke them again, not for anyone.
"We're done," I stated tightly.
‘Sorry’ wasn't going to fix this.
Even though she hadn't read it, it didn't matter. She had it. Why had she kept it if she had no intention of reading it?
I looked at her one last time before I made the decision to leave. I had said everything I needed to, there was nothing left to say.
She stood unmoving as I walked past her and opened the door. I left with only one thought—to get away as far as I could. The tightness in my chest kept my breathing shallow as I slammed the front door closed. It echoed down the hallway as I left.
