Page 67 of Loving Taylor
When her attention moved back to me, I dropped my arms and walked upstairs, trying to get as far away from Matthew as possible. Inside my room, I waited for her to enter before I closed the door and leaned against it.
"Where's everyone else?" she asked. Was she worried someone would interrupt us?
"They're out." My tone was abrupt.
She quieted.
"So are you going to explain the tag-a-long?" I asked, crossing my arms as I held her gaze. I wanted answers.
"You've met my overprotective brother," she said and I nodded. I had a few added descriptions that weren't good but I kept my mouth shut.
"Well, that overprotective brother hired a bodyguard," she said with a sigh like she wasn't totally on board with the idea.
A bodyguard. It explained why he was always around her. I should have known better. Her brother was very protective of her and with the money available he would choose an option that would not leave her at risk. She clasped her hands together as she waited for my response. My anger evaporated and I felt relieved she wasn't trying to replace me.
"And I thought that overprotective brother of yours was stupid." I dropped my defensive stand. She didn't look too happy about it but I was glad she was being watched.
Then I realized why I it had never occurred to me.
"He doesn't look like a typical bodyguard." I cocked my head to the side. Bodyguards were supposed to be big, bulky and intimidating. The guy downstairs was just annoying.
"I know, it's probably why he is so good at his job," she said, shrugging dismissively.
Now that we had clarification on that issue it was time to move on to the next. The most important one.
"And here I thought he was my replacement," I admitted my fear that I might have pushed her too far. Feeling unsettled, I straightened up.
When her eyes met mine, I saw she still cared even though I had hurt her. I'd made mistakes and so had she but I wanted to find a way back to where we had been before. But even though I could read her feelings for me in her eyes, she was hesitant. I had hurt her multiple times but I was done denying that this wasn’t more than just sex.
It was still difficult to look at her without remembering what I had read and I even fought the sympathy I felt for her. There was no hiding it and I saw the moment she stiffened slightly.
"I'm sorry for shutting you out," she said softly. She bowed her head slightly. I could hear the emotion in her voice and I wanted to touch her to bring her back to the present where she had nothing to fear. She wasn't alone; I was with her.
"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have taken things into my own hands. You didn't want me to know, but I went searching anyway," I said as she looked up. I rubbed my hands over my face and into my hair. "But no matter how mad you are and how sorry I am, it doesn't change the fact that I know."
I dropped my hands. She continued to stare at me.
"I was upset after I'd told you stuff about me and you refused to open up. I was angry so I tried to shut you out. Then your brother came to see me." I raked a hand through my hair. She rolled her eyes at the mention of her brother. "He told me to stay away from you. He said that you wouldn't recover if I hurt you."
Looking back I could understand his concern and the motivation behind his underhanded actions. But at some point he had to realize he couldn't keep her locked up. This was her life and she had every right to live it with her own choices. On paper I was the worst possible choice, and even I knew that.
Seeing the fragility in her eyes, it was difficult not to think about the little girl who had witnessed something that should never have happened.
"I know that you didn't want to tell me about your past, but after your brother came to see me I couldn't stop myself," I said, my voice was soft and soothing. She bit down on her lip and I knew she was fighting the renewal of the memory. "There were so many things about you that just simply didn't add up. Your naivety and lack of knowledge. Then your brother came to see me and told me to stay away from you. That just pushed me over the edge and I had to know. I tried asking your brother, but he wouldn't tell me so I did the only thing I could think of, I googled your name."
I was tired of talking. Staying away from her wasn't an option. I needed to touch her so I stepped closer.
"I've been through some rough shit, but I don't know how you survived what happened to you," I murmured softly.
She fought for control over her emotions. I didn't like to see her like this. I moved closer and she gazed up at me. The raw emotions flooding through her tore at me.
"I don't like it," I told her hoarsely, wanting to be able to take it away.
"What?" she asked.
"I don't like seeing you upset." I wanted to see her smile and see the light filter through her eyes like a ray of sunshine. I didn't want to see the darkness that scarred her childhood and her young adult life.
"You don't have to talk about it." I wanted her to know that I didn't need her to open up about it. My hand lifted to caress her cheek. Her skin was as soft as I remembered.
"I've been trying to forget that day for as long as I can remember," she breathed, looking like she had the weight of the world on her small shoulders.
It might have happened a long time ago but it was something that she would never get over. It would stay with her until the day she took her last breath.
Wanting to give her my strength, I reached out and took her smaller hand into mine. I held it in my hand like I could remind her that despite the terrible memory, she was here with me. She had survived.
"I was nine." She swallowed while she struggled to continue. "It was a Friday night and Connor went out to a party. He was eighteen at the time and he'd planned on sleeping over at his friend's house."
I had read all the details. I knew how this story ended but listening to her talk about it made it so much more real and heartbreaking.
