Page 98 of Breaking Matt
I plastered a smile on my face when I looked up at him. "Yeah."
I didn't want to admit my inner turmoil to him. I didn't want Matthew to know I was struggling to carry on.
"You're a bad liar," Mark told me when he sat down on the lounger beside me.
A girl yelled when someone pushed her into the pool and she resurfaced with a giggle.
"I'm trying," I murmured, fixing my eyes on my carefree friends who were have an awesome party while I wallowed in the emptiness of my feelings.
"Maybe this isn't the way to do it." He gave me a glance and I took another sip of my soda.
He didn't try to give me more advice, and I spent the rest of the evening trying my hardest to fit back into the life I'd had.
I was exhausted by the time the party wrapped up and I closed the door on the last guest to leave. I said good night to Mark before I trudged upstairs to go to bed. I was feeling despondent and empty. Why couldn't I fit back into my old life? Before meeting Matthew, I would still have been attracted to Liam—but since Matthew had come into my life, everything had changed.
Was that it? I wouldn't be able to move on until I'd found closure with Matthew. Just the thought made my heart squeeze with pain. His distance from me hurt.
The hope I'd had that we would get back together had slowly disappeared with every day that passed without seeing him.
I'd never fallen in love before Matthew and I wasn't sure how to navigate my way through what I knew was inevitable: a confrontation with Matthew.
I needed him to tell me to my face that it was over between us for me to move on.
That night I lay awake thinking about it over and over again, trying to foresee how it would unfold. Even with all my chaotic thoughts, I finally managed to fall asleep at two in the morning knowing I had at least a plan of action.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
"We're going out today," I told Mark when I walked into the kitchen the next morning.
I had woken up feeling the familiar emptiness, but now I had started to feel angry and determined.
"Where are we going?" he asked, standing up.
"We're going to see Matthew." I stood with my hands on my hips with a determined look that even made Mark keep his mouth shut and nod.
I was done waiting. It was time to have it out. I couldn't go on like this wondering. This conversation was long overdue—eleven days overdue to be exact—and I had to know either way, good or bad.
"You sure about this?" he asked as we got into a car.
"Yes." There was no turning back now. This had to be my next move. Irrespective of the outcome, I had to know where I stood.
I started to bite my nails before I realized what I was doing and gripped my hands in my lap to stop myself. I felt Mark's gaze but I refused to look at him. The tightened knot of anxiety I felt in my chest made me uncomfortable and I didn't want him to see how nervous I felt.
"We'll be at his place in about ten minutes," Mark told me, and I nodded.
His place.Was it a temporary place he'd held while he'd been assigned to me?
The apartment block Mark pulled up outside was nice and modern. I took in a deep breath as I looked up at the building. The closer I got to seeing Matthew the more nervous I got. My hands even shook a little as I undid my seatbelt.
Mark opened his door and I frowned as I got out of my seat.
"I want to do this alone."
He shook his head.
"After what happened the last time I let my guard down, I'm not taking any chances."
I put my hand on my hip and glared at him, but he was unfazed as he closed the door and walked around to wait in front of me.
