Page 21 of Rock Star

“You’ll ace it,” I said, swinging my legs from the bed.

“Not as well as you will.”

I turned and smiled at her before opening the door. “I’m calling off our bet.”

Her mouth dropped open, but I didn’t stick around to argue.

I checked the corridor outside was empty and left the room.10I bounced from foot to foot, whirling in a circle, my arms spread wide while I sang ‘London Lovers.’ We were killing it in the stadium. I’d been concerned we wouldn’t be playing with our usual energy, energy which resulted from having snorted cocaine before the show. But I needn’t have worried… we were on fire.

I ran up the catwalk and leapt in the air, my jump perfectly timed with the music and an explosion of fireworks. I stopped under the half dome on the main stage, turned and surveyed the crowd; I was so fucking relieved the break in the tour hadn’t meant the end of ChiMera. We’d had to cancel the Latin American, Oceanian and Asian legs while we were in rehab. We’d refunded millions of dollars in ticket sales with the promise we’d travel there after our next album was released, and we would… we owed it to our supporters.

But Ella’s overdose and the revelation of the guys’ and my coke habit could have put our Italian fans off.

Letting out a huge breath, I listened to the audience shouting their appreciation, knowing we’d be nothing without them. I grinned from ear to ear and thanked them for coming to the show, told them they’d been awesome. “We’ve dedicated this leg of the tour to my sister, Ella.” I fought the sudden sadness in my voice, the tears behind my eyelids. “And now we’d like you to join us in singing her favorite song, ‘The Alchemist’. In a minute, the spotlights will be dimmed. Please light up your phones and wave them as you sing.”

The crowd roared their approval and did as I’d asked. A warm feeling spread over me. Someone once said rock stars like me needed the adulation of the audience due to something missing in our own lives. Like we hadn’t been loved and required the love of our fans to compensate. Total bullshit. At least as far as I was concerned. I’d grown up in a loving family… we’d do anything for each other.

Until it all went belly up….

I felt Ella’s spirit was with us tonight, though. She’d have been stoked to be in the San Siro. It was our biggest venue yet.

The band and I fell silent while the crowd carried on singing.

Goosebumps prickled all over my body.

I fucking loved performing.

Okay, it was kind of an ego-trip to hold the crowd in my hands, tell eighty thousand people to light up their phones and have them obey, but I was more of a facilitator than anything else. Everyone here had one purpose only… to have a blast with like-minded people.

After ‘Alchemist’, we launched into ‘Live, Love, Lose’, as pyrotechnics lit up the stage. The audience sang along to the chorus. “Life is for living. Love is for loving. No one will lose,” confetti canons showering them with millions of tiny golden stars. Behind me six hanging giant PufferSpheres displayed images, video and streamed closeups of us so that those at the back of the stadium wouldn’t feel left out.

We’d reached the end of the concert. The five of us walked down the catwalk together and bowed. Phoenix was between Rhys and me—we’d always included Ella in the final bow and couldn’t do it without Firebird—and my skin heated as I felt her warm body next to mine.

“Congrats on your first show,” I lowered my voice and spoke in her ear.

“It was amazing,” she said, staring out across the crowd. They were only a couple of feet away from us, and from the tremble in her voice I guessed she was feeling a tad overwhelmed.

I hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to her since I’d left her room in the early hours of this morning. I’d done my circuit training, showered, eaten breakfast and then looked for her, but she’d gone out on the lake in a rowboat with Joe, Hayley and Camila. In the afternoon, Jake had given strict instructions that everyone was to stay in their rooms and get some rest before the show. Knowing my old friend Jake like I did, he’d probably gotten security to patrol the corridors and make sure everyone was being good. In the old days we’d have been inhaling lines of coke already.

How times had changed.

The itch was still there, it would never leave me.

If I hadn’t been such a cokehead, maybe I would have noticed what was happening to my sister.

I wouldn’t go down that road again, I promised myself for the umpteenth time.

Firebird had sat next to me during the helicopter ride to the stadium, and I was grateful she’d taken the window seat to shield me from looking out. I gave her hand a quick squeeze as we exited the stage. I needed to prepare her for what would go down at the after-show party… Jake had lined up a couple of super models and the paparazzi would be at the nightclub in full force.

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