Page 12 of Learning to Love

I'm so hard, I'm ready to explode. I pick her up from the sofa and carry her in my arms to the bedroom. I place her gently on the bed, take my clothes off as I'm racing the clock, put on a condom, and slide inside her.

Ellie feels so good, like she’s meant for me. Try as I might, I can't hold it in too much longer, so I claim every last bit of her.

Chapter 5

Ellie

One Week Later

The box of crayons crashes with a clatter, sending its contents scattering across the floor. I stop mid-read, and the other kids all turn to the activity table, where a red-faced Oscar hides his hands behind his back.

I put downThe Very Merry Ponyand bustle towards the child, tripping on some stray LEGO blocks.

"I'm … sorry, Ellie. I'm c-c-clumsy." Oscar wipes his freckled forehead with his sleeve, his stutter returning.

I crouch down and touch his shoulders, smiling as reassuringly as I can. "It's okay, Oscar. It happens to me all the time. Isn't that right, kids?" I turn to the others, who nod at me, giggling.

Some of Oscar's tension has passed, and he's smiling back at me with a gap-toothed grin.

"Anyway, it's tidy up time. We have a VERY important guest coming today, and everything needs to look good."

I start putting away books and LEGO blocks. The other kids help Oscar put away the crayons. "Great work, kids.Ka pai, tamariki.Now tell me, can you guess who's coming to see us now at mat time?"

The kids shout various answers, making each other laugh. Their little individual voices blend into one loud noise.

"The Prime minister! The Queen! My mom! A potato!"

The potato guess makes me laugh just as much as them. "Some good guesses there, kids, but no. Our special guest today is a sailor for our country's national team, and he's going to tell us all about what it's like to sail on a boat."

I put a seat for myself in the corner, and all the kids hurry after me, sitting cross-legged on the mat.

I gesture to the door. "His name is Sam. Let's call out his name and see if he's ready. One, two, three …"

Ten voices erupt into a single cry. "Saaaaaaaaam"

Sam leans into the door frame, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. The apprehension in his eyes is like a dam, holding his feelings in place, locking them inside a blue-gray pool.

I gesture to the seat in the middle. "Come on in, Sam. We don't bite, do we, kids?"

The kids giggle, and Sam opens his mouth to say something, thinks better of it, strides towards the chair that's clearly too small for him and squeezes his large frame into it. He waves to my preschoolers, a lopsided smile in place. "Hi, kids. How's it going?"

This looks like it's going to be a tough gig for Sam. He's fidgety, one foot already tapping. In some ways, Sam reminds me of Oscar with his short attention spans, so I try my best to put him at ease. "Tell us about yourself, Sam. What do you like about sailing?"

A small voice breaks through. "And what's your favorite shark?"

Sam leans back and starts laughing, visibly relaxing, his eyes crinkled at the corners. "Oh boy, nobody's ever asked me what my favorite shark is. Let me think. Which one's your favorite?"

Lucie shakes her blond pigtails, and her pink rimmed glasses fall down her nose. "I like Sand Tiger sharks because they have stripes, just like a real tiger. Rawr!"

Her roar catches Sam unawares, and he laughs again. The dam of wariness behind his eyes crumbles. Sam lifts his eyebrows. "That's … something. I like Hammerhead sharks. They look very cool up close."

The kids gasp in wonder."You've seen a shark up close!"

"I've seen many sharks. They had biiiiig mouths and lots of teeth." Sam shows a big mouth with his hands, and the kids gasp again.

"How did you see the sharks? Did you fall out of your boat?" Oscar's eyes are as big as saucers, and his mouth is forming a perfect O shape.

When I asked Sam last week to come meet my preschoolers at daycare, I thought I'd have to cajole him into it. He's not the most social person, and a classroom full of noisy kids is challenging for most people.

---