Page 13 of Learning to Love

Instead, Sam surprised me by taking my hand, kissing it, and saying "Sure," like I'd just asked him to watch something else on Netflix, not spend half an hour of his time with Preschool kids. "Anything... for you," he’d added, still holding my hand. And I fell in love with him a little bit. Ok, maybe a little bitmore.

His eyes sparkle while he talks animatedly about sharks, sailing, and the ocean to four year-olds, and my heart swells.

"...and when you're a bit older you can sail around the world in a boat." Sam beams at the kids, and they take in every word.

Oscar props his head with his hands, pondering something. "My grandpa told me sailors have a sweetheart in every port. Do you have a sweetheart in every port?"

Oh, shit. Oscar's grandpa and hiswisdomis going to unsettle Sam, and it's going so well … I turn to look at Sam, but he chuckles, and shrugs. "Nah, no sweethearts."

His words are like a frozen claw squeezing my heart, and I shiver. Did he just say that? My self-esteem isn't great at the best of times, and hearing him dismiss any relationship between us, even if it's just to my kids, makes me take a deep breath. To avoid a cry-fest in front of the kids, I jump out of my seat like a jack-in-the-box, a wide smile plastered on my face. "Our special guest needs to leave now because he has a busy schedule, and it's lunch time."

Sam gets up from the too-small chair and stretches his long limbs. "See you later, kids. Be kind to your teacher." He winks at them and looks sorry to go. A sad smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

Chloe's messy bun pops from behind the door. "Ellie, you show our guest out, I'll help the kids with their lunch boxes." Chloe floats through the door in a wave of incense and flowery fabric, winking at me as she passes. She waves at Sam from a distance, and he waves back with a bemused expression, one eyebrow arched.

Sam and I walk in silence out the classroom door. We're side by side, and I'm imagining the worst possible scenarios, like is this his very unconventional way of telling me we're over? I steal glances at his profile, and he's so calm and collected, like he's got his outside mask on again.

We reach the front step of the center, and he turns to me. "How was it?"

I scan his features for any inkling of what's coming next. After all, this wouldn't be the strangest place I have been dumped. "It went well, the kids really like you."

He smiles and leans on the wall, blocking the sunshine, his shape silhouetted in the daylight. "What about you?"

Here it goes. I'm becoming belligerent, and my hands move to my hips like they do when I'm ready for a fight. "What about me?"

He doesn't flinch or move. "Doyoulike me?"

The air from my lungs rushes out and my hands fall to my side. "Of course, I … like you." I shield my eyes with my hand. "You're going to laugh about this."

"Oh?" Sam is still in arm's reach, so close, yet so far away.

A mortified laugh escapes me. "I thought … because you told Oscar you have no sweethearts … that you were going to leave me."

Sam's eyebrows shoot up. "Me? Leave you?"

"I told you you're going to laugh about this … anyway …" I tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and examine my Birkenstocks like they're the most important thing in the world because I don't dare look him in the eye.

He leans in, and his scent slams my senses like an ocean riptide. "No sweethearts. Only one.You."

Chapter 6

Ellie

AFew Weeks Later

It's late November and the weather continues to be mild. We've been dating for a couple of months now, and I have a day off work this Wednesday. Sam will bring Corey round to mine and Tayla's in the evening. We'll have some dinner and drinks, and we'll have each other's measure, I'm sure.

I'm a bit worried, as I have an inkling Corey might not be my number one fan. Tayla hasn't really crossed paths with Sam since that first night, when she implied he may have a small dick. I have a good laugh at the memory.

Tayla's at work today, visiting schools in her educational psychologist role, and she'll be back around 5:00 p.m.

I walk Daisy around the neighborhood, then lead her home and go out again to pick up some groceries to prepare dinner. I'm going to make a large lasagna for everyone to share with some garlic bread and salad. The boys are in charge of drinks tonight.

I'm so excited to see Sam, I've missed him over the past couple of days.

As I'm waiting for the checkout operator to process my items, my attention is drawn to the flat screen TV in the corner.A picture of a sailing boat, the NZ logo on it flashes across the screen. I squint to see the scrolling text at the bottom of the screen. “Can you turn up the volume?” I ask. The operator does and the news reporter’s voice floats into the air with urgent tones. "We have breaking news. Earlier today, the New Zealand team capsized while training on the Auckland Waitemata harbor."

I register the TV presenter's words through a fog. I'm fixated by the images showing this huge boat tipped nose down in the water, some of the sailors bobbing along on the surface, boat debris floating, and my Sam, and Corey, hanging on for dear life at the back end of the boat sticking up 30 feet in the air.

---