Page 185 of Tell Me What You Want, Or Leave Me

Ralf asks me to sit up and lean forward. He explains that he needs me to be totally still so as not to damage my spine. I’m overwhelmed, but I’m 100 percent willing to cooperate, and I hardly even breathe.

Eric helps me. He does not pull away from me. I notice a small pinch when I least expect it.

“It’s done,” says the anesthesiologist. “You already have the epidural.”

I’m surprised. That’s fast!

I thought I’d get dizzy from the pain of the puncture but so far, nothing. He explains that he leaves a catheter in in case the doctor needs to administer more anesthesia. Then he picks up his gear and leaves. Eric and I stay behind in the room, alone. Eric kisses me.

“You’re a champ.”

This is so nice. He has so much patience with me and shows me so much love with his words and actions.

Ten minutes later, I notice the horrible pains have begun to subside and then disappear. I feel like the Queen of Sheba. It’s me again. I can talk, smile, and communicate with Eric without looking like a seven-headed hydra.

We call Sonia and ask her to go by our house to pick up the bag with the Medusa stuff. She’s out of her mind knowing we’re at the hospital. I don’t even want to imagine what my father and sister are going to be like.

Then I call Simona. I know how important it is for her that I call her myself and make her promise to come with Sonia to the hospital when she goes home to pick up the bag. Otherwise, she’ll have doubts about my wanting her here now.

Then, after much consideration, I call my father. Eric thinks it’s the fairest thing. But as I already assumed, on learning I’m in the hospital to give birth, the poor man goes into a real spiral. I notice it in his speech. When Papá gets nervous, he can’t always be understood. He doesn’t make sense.

He hands the phone to my sister. Another one with nerves on fire. Screaming and cheering is enough for Raquel. I finally give the phone to Eric, who tells them he’ll send his plane to pick them up in Jerez.

When we hang up, he carefully kisses me on the lips.

“The day is here, sweetheart. We’re going to be parents.”

I’m scared but happy.

“You’re going to be an excellent father, Mr. Zimmerman.”

Eric kisses me again.

“So, Hannah if it’s a girl. What if it’s a boy?”

The door to the room opens, and Björn comes in, flushed.

“Man...James Bond is here,” he says.

He looks at me. The joke isn’t funny, so he reconsiders.

“How are you?”

“Perfect now. I had an epidural, I don’t feel pain, and I’m OK.”

Eric is calmer now too. He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s had a hard time. My God, I love him so much! He and Björn talk for a little while, and I have to laugh when I hear Eric say, “Twelve minutes, buddy. It took her exactly twelve minutes.”

Björn is stunned. It took him almost an hour. Traffic was horrible.

“How’d she get you here, flying?”

“No idea. I was watching Jude. But, wow, that Mel, what a character!”

“She must be unbearable,” murmurs Björn. I laugh.

I’m chatting with them, calm and relaxed, when Sonia comes in with Flyn and Simona. Everyone kisses me, and I smile even though I can’t feel my legs. This is so intense. They feel like cardboard. While everyone’s talking, Flyn grabs my hand.

“We’ll meet Medusa today?”

---