Page 66 of Twisted Minds

“I’m not in the mood for games,” Hunter lies, because he can see Jamie isn’t. It’s a miracle he’s even out here right now with us.

“I have an idea.” Xavi smiles, glancing at Jamie. “How about we take turns choosing someone and saying one reason we’re either proud of them or happy for them. For example, I choose Bri, and I tell her one thing I’m proud of her for, or one thing that makes me happy for her.”

“That sounds stupid,” Jamie mumbles, taking a hit of his bowl.

“Well, we’re doing it. We’ve all had a shit year, and I think we all need something good right now to remind us why we get up every day.” Brianna grins, standing and raising her cup. While I don’t really like Jamie, Xavi and Bri have been very kind and welcoming. Xavi is sitting on the loveseat next to Bri. He’s pretty cute, with light-brown skin and brown eyes. He’s about the same height as me, with a dimpled smile and curly black hair currently put into a tiny ponytail—Bri’s doing, he told me.

Bri sips her drink, practically vibrating with excitement. She’s stunning. Her rich brown skin shimmers with blue and pink glitter going up and down her arms. Her makeup is insane—her eyelids done in blues, pinks, and purples that shimmer with a metallic glitter shine. The makeup leaps off her face. It’s bold and striking and so gorgeous. Her lips are painted with a bright-pink glitter lip gloss that matches the bold shimmer of her eyes. The long twists she has are threaded with teal and orange. The dress she’s wearing is short and flowing with black on the corset then melting into a burnt orange, then bright orange before melting back to black at the hem. Her knee high socks are also a bright orange.

She’s an explosion of color, but all the colors she’s wearing go together instead of clashing. “Do you like?” My eyes lift and I realize I’ve been starring.

“I’m sorry, your dress is stunning.”

She beams holding the dress out then bending her knee in a curtsey. “I made it.”

“Wow that’s amazing. You’re so talented.”

“Thank you, It’s the first dress I made since,”

“Are we going to fucking play or not.” Jamie snaps.

Bri deflates a bit and I bite back the urge to snap at Jamie. It’s not my place, and I know there are things at play here I don’t understand. Still, watching the light die in her eyes upsets me.

“Don’t be a dick.” Xavi’s eyes harden on his brother.

“I’m sorry Bri.” Jamie says softly, then takes another hit. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” It’s not at all, but Bri throws on a plastic smile. “Okay, how do we pick who?”

“I think you should start, Xavi,” Hunter says, his knee bounces. Tension radiates off him, but he’s quiet to. “Then when you’re done, the person who you pick goes next.”

“That sounds good.” Xavi stands. “I’m going to pick you.” He beams at Hunter. “This year we’ve all made sacrifices and adjusted to our new reality. We’ve all gone through hell, and I just want to say that I’m very proud of you for not only stepping up in our family but also doing amazing at school. You really are the greatest person I know, and you don’t fully understand how grateful I am to you.”

Looking at him, Hunter’s chin wobbles. “Thanks. Wow, uh . . .” He clears his throat. “I guess it’s my turn. I’m going to choose Mark. Um. I’m so happy that you’re in my life. I also want to say how proud I am that you’re chasing your dreams. I know you’ll be a great creator one of these days. You’re insanely smart, and very, very talented.”

I look away, blinking rapidly and taking a drink. I do not deserve him. “Thank you.” I stand, not really knowing who to pick, but I see Brianna and choose her. “I know I just met you, but hearing you talk about going to school for cosmetology is really impressive and inspiring. I love your makeup. It looks crazy hard to do.” She looks like a metallic princess set to savea galaxy. “You’re insanely talented.” It really is whimsical and pretty.

Hunter said she was Luci’s girlfriend, and I can’t imagine the hell she’s been through this year, yet her light burns the brightest tonight. Her personality makes me smile and her laugh is infectious. “And . . .” I swallow, catching my nerve, not knowing if this is my place, but I feel like there’s this thing looming over our group and I want to acknowledge it. Acknowledge Luci, because I can imagine how special she was to everyone here. “Obviously I didn’t know Luci, but um, I can see how much you all love her. To be here today is really strong of you all. Especially you,” I say to Bri. “You seem like a very strong person, and it’s very brave of you to go back to school after something like that happened.”

“What the fuck do you know about any of this?” Jamie snaps.

Anger punches me in the gut, but I swallow it down. For Hunter. “Well . . .” I take a breath. “I um . . . I know how it feels to have to just move on after something tragic happens. I was applying for schools with a great law program.”

“What?” Hunter looks at me.

I nod. “My father wanted me to follow in his footsteps. He um . . . He’s a lawyer for a lot of top companies all over the world. He’s very successful, but I never wanted that for me. I’ve always been obsessed with learning how things are made and work. My um, mymorfar. . . my grandfather was a watchmaker back in Sweden. When I’d visit him, he’d just sit with me for hours teaching me how things work, how to make these incredible watches. When I got a little older, I told him about my ideas for games. I drew up blueprints and code, and while it wasn’t his area of expertise, he would listen to me for hours. Give me ideas and tips.” My throat starts to get tight.

“He died during my senior year of high school, and I nearly gave up on my dream. I’ve never felt grief that large, and itsucked me in like a black hole. I nearly gave up. After a couple of weeks, um . . . we got some of his things, and he’d left me a watch that he’d made for me. On the bottom of the face were some words that translated roughly to ‘be the light.’ It’s something he’d always said to me when I started to fold into myself. If I can’t find the spark, be the spark. I’d feel like there was no spark inside me, so he used to tell me to be the spark. Be the light. So . . .” I say to Jamie. “So yeah, you’re right, I didn’t know her. But still . . .” I look at Bri, whose eyes haven’t left mine. “I know how it is to keep the light going after feeling so much darkness. I’m really proud of you for that.”

She presses the heels of her palms to her eyes, dabbing them. “Hunter, I swear to god if you hurt that fucking angel I will remove your balls.” I laugh, swiping my own eyes. “Can I hug you? Please let me hug you.” I nod as she comes to me and gives me a huge squeezing hug. “Thank you for that.”

“Wow.” Xavi shakes his head. “That was really brave of you to share.” I thank him, only now noticing Hunter rubbing the back of my thigh. I sit down.

“Guess it’s my turn, huh? I don’t think I can top that.” Bri blows me a kiss then tosses me a wink. “Alright, who. . .” She puts her hand above her eyes, looking over us as if she’s searching out to sea when we all know who she’s going to pick. “Xavi.” A soft smile spreads on her face. “We've been through hell this year, and while we’re all going through this terrible thing, you’re going through it the most and at such a young age.” Xavi swallows, looking down. “I know that we’re all here now, and Luci is right beside you, so fucking proud of the man you stepped up to be this year—for me, for your mother . . .” Her eyes pick up, looking at Jamie. “And for your brother. You’re the youngest, but you’ve handled our pain with such grace.” She squeezes his shoulder. “I know that Luci is seeing you and she’s so fucking proud of you.”

Brianna looks up, and my eyes follow hers watching Jamie. He’s looking away, far off somewhere I can’t see. A swallow works his throat. His knee starts to bounce. “Your turn, hon.” Bri squeezes the back of Xavi’s neck before sitting down, and Xavi stands, swirling his drink around the rim before downing it.

“Thanks, Bri,” he says softly before looking at Jamie. “Jamie, I—”

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