Page 70 of A Forgotten Mistake

“I worry about him when he shows up with a bruise on his face,” I retort.

Davey stupidly gets up and starts toward me, and I realize that this will save Liam more than anything. Getting Davey to act irrationally will make it clear why Liam did what he did, so I don’t deescalate the situation like I normally would.

“I believe your son is being abused, and I hope that he feels comfortable enough with me to know that I’m doing what’s best for him. He shouldn’t protect you—there is so much better out there for him than the abuse you put him through.” I turn and make eye contact with Cole. “Please, Cole, you can’t keep defending your father. Please understand that the people around you want to help you. They want to be there for you. You aresucha good kid, and you deserve the world. Your parents shouldmake you feel safe. Your parents are the ones who should protect you, not who you should need to be protected from.”

“You shut the fuck up,” Davey yells, and even though Hernandez has a hand on him, he tries to pull away to get at me. “You don’t know fucking anything. You fucking asshole. You better keep a fucking eye open.”

Hernandez starts reading Davey his rights as Hernandez’s partner comes over to talk to me and get all the information she can before she goes and sits down next to Cole. Cole looks shaken up, but she’s doing her best to make him feel comfortable.

Liam still hasn’t said anything, and when I look over at him, I find that he’s staring at the ground, knuckles bloody.

I want to go to him, but at the moment, I need to keep Cole from defending his father. So I squeeze Liam’s arm before heading over to Cole and kneeling in front of him.

“Are you in a lot of pain?” I ask, afraid his nose is broken.

“What’s going to happen?” he asks, a catch to his voice.

“Cole, it’s so important for you to trust us. You saw what it was like to be an officer. You saw how hard we try to help people. You really seemed interested in Penny’s job. Now imagine getting to have a job like that. You could do so much, so don’t let him stop that.”

Cole nods slowly. “Okay. I’ll tell them what happened. I don’t want you two to get in trouble because of him.”

“Don’t do it for us. You have to do it for yourself,” I say firmly.

He nods again, and when he’s finally taken away, I realize I now have to deal with Liam. Liam… who has disappeared.

FIFTEEN

Liam

What the fuck have I done?

I’m not sure I’d have stopped if Gabriel hadn’t made me. There was so much rage, so many uncontrollable emotions seeing the way he hurt Gabriel. It was like I was blinded to everything else. Nothing else mattered. Am I losing my fucking mind? I would never be that sloppy. I would never be that careless. And now twice in the same fucking week? What is happening to me?

I rush into the bathroom and slam the door shut, locking it before I start to pace the small area.

It’s like everything is unravelling around me. I’ve fallen in too deep, and I don’t know how the fuck to get out. What is making me like this? Is it Gabriel? Is Gabriel the reason I’m falling apart?

My hands are coated in Davey’s blood, my knuckles split by the impact of hitting his face. If I concentrate hard enough, I can still remember the euphoria I felt when I was pummeling that man… when I was protecting what I hold dearest.

I hurry to the sink and turn the water on then start scrubbing my hands as hard as I can. I scrub and scrub but the blood keeps coming. It doesn’t matter how hard I scrub; more blood fills the sink.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

What the fuck am I doing? I can’t be with Gabriel. I can’t be with someone like him. I’m going to ruin him. I’m going to destroy him. He’s going to leave me, and I’m going to lose my fucking mind. I’m going to tear the world apart because without him, I am nothing. The only thing that drives me is my next kill. The only thing that keeps me moving is watching the monsters who lurk in the dark. But now that I’m with him… I realize that I’m one of those monsters.

I smack the water off, but when I do, I splash bloody water onto the mirror.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I sink down, dropping to my knees in front of the vanity as I realize that I don’t even remember how to breathe. Has breathing always been this hard? Can I even breathe without a reason to? If Gabriel leaves me, is that it? Is there anything in this world left for a monster like me?

He’s going to leave me. He’s going to realize that I am the worst kind of monster there is. I’m deceiving, self-centered, and toxic.

There’s a soft knock on the door before I hear Gabriel’s gentle voice. “Liam, can I come in?”

Have I already destroyed him? How could he still show me kindness after realizing what I am? Realizing what I’ve done and what I’m going to keep doing… He has no fucking idea that if Davey walked up tomorrow, I would do the same thing again. I would make him hurt. I would make him bleed. I would annihilate him so he could never touch my sweet Gabriel again. But that’s not right.

I might not comprehend much about what other people think, but I know that much.

---