Page 26 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

“I didn’t do all of that. Your face lookedsignificantlybetter the last time I saw you.”

“Yes, but it’s your damn fault it’s like this!”

I grimace, feeling rather bad about the whole thing. I mean… I really, really did fuck up. But the proof seemed so solid. “Okay! I fucked up! I mean, you can’t seriously think I would listen to every serial killer who claims that they’re innocent, right? You have no idea the shit I’ve seen people do before turning around and playing the victim with ease. People can be really sick and the information I was given about you seemed legit. I’m sorry. I really am. I feel really bad and… what are you doing?”

“Closing up your wound,” he says as he snaps his gloves in place.

“Oh hell no. I’m fine.”

“You’ll be even more ‘fine’ when I close it up.”

“Do you even know what you’re doing? You’re not even a vet, are you?”

“No, but I learned how to suture things in tech school, and I do some sutures here and there. It’s better than bleeding everywhere, isn’t it?”

“I’m not sure about that—fucking hell!” I cry as pain spikes into my shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Closing the wound, like I said. It’s fine. I’m just lightly ‘thumping’ it, like you lightly thumped my head into the side of a dumpster,” Ellis says, which makes me question if his goal is to torture me at this point. Like he thinks I could possibly deserve it… which… maybe I do.

I grit my teeth and decide I need something to distract myself with while he closes the wound. “So what does he want you for?”

“I… guess something my dad did or knows or something. I really don’t know. Haven’t seen him in hell… twelve years? I don’t know any of the specifics or what this Arthur guy wants. Ijust want out of here. It’s not like I can evengivehim what he wants. And when he finds that out, isn’t he going to kill me? I’d really rather not die.”

“He called you by a different name,” I say.

“Yeah… my name was changed when we went through protective services. Anyway, I’m all done. Let’s get it wrapped up, and don’t jerk your arm around unless you want me to stab you some more, which did make me feel oddly better. I mean… do you have any other wounds?” He’s holding the needle like he’d enjoy suturing my mouth shut next.

“Nah, I think that’s good. Nice job,” I tell him, deciding maybe some praise will make him kinder. Not that I was any too kind when I thought he was a killer.

“Okay. I’m really not the best at this, so I hope it’s okay,” he says as he puts the needle away and frets over my arm some more. Despite trying to be “evil,” I’m pretty sure he’s just too damn nice.

“It’ll be fine. I’d have just let it bleed all over,” I admit.

Ellis wraps it up with obvious care. “Now all you need is the cone of shame and you’ll be set to go home.”

“Funny,” I mutter.

He grins, seemingly proud of himself before the grin falls. “I really, really don’t want to die.”

“Makes sense.”

“Do you really think you can get me home?”

“My hope is that if we get far enough from the house, we can get away from the jammer that’s blocking the signal on my phone. They must be using something else that allows their phones to still work.”

“Does it work if they’re on Wi-Fi?”

“This is Cassel’s expertise. Mine is slamming heads into dumpsters. Yours is shooting a man’s pinky off.”

Ellis hesitates before quickly shaking his head. “That is not what I’d like to be known for, thank you very much. I would like to be known for getting off an island and going back home and never having such a weird issue ever again.”

“I say we head as far that way as we can and see if this phone starts working again. If not, I hope you’re a good swimmer.”

His grimace tells me he doesn’t like the idea of heading out to sea.

“Don’t fret. I have shithead on the job.”

“It makes me fret more when the person you have enlisted to save you is someone you seem to verbally chastise.”

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