Page 25 of The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance

“No, we don’t. Let me use the phone.”

He seems reluctant to hand it over. “Why the hell would we not call the police?”

“You think the police are just going to drop everything and run over here for you? They probably won’t even believe you. And if they did, how do you suppose they’d even get here? I have people.”

“Well, if your people are anything like the ones who laughed at me in the trunk, I don’t want your people!”

“They’re not like them. Theyarethem,” I explain as I take the phone and realize that it’s locked. “I can’t make a call like this. Did you get the passcode?”

“No because I don’t need it to call the police,” he says, sounding quite proud as he snatches it back and fumbles with the phone. “Why… why can’t I call the police? The option isn’t there. It’s always there.”

“Unless you disable it. Maybe he didn’t want to accidentally call them, you know, being the bad guy and all. Why didn’t you get the passcode?”

“Because I thought I could just call the police without it! I locked the guy in a closet if you want to go back in and get it. I’ll wait out here,” he says, giving me a thumbs-up.

I sigh and bank that idea for later because there’s no damn way the path is clear now that they know we’ve made it out the door.

“Whatever, we can still use it for a flashlight. Aim it at your shoulder,” he says as he starts undoing the makeshift bandage.

“It’s fine, just leave it,” I urge.

Ellis waves at the blood. “Which part of this is fine? Do you think you’re a vampire who is going to just heal from this?”

“Nah, I’m just tough—fucking hell… did you need to stick your finger into it? I’m not that tough! You did that just to torture me, didn’t you?”

“Stop whining.” He checks the wound then opens a plastic bag he’d brought with him before shuffling through it. He pulls out something and starts squirting it on the wound which immediately burns.

“What are you doing? Pouring alcohol into it?”

“No, we do this to little baby kittens and they don’t even flinch. Why are you moving so much? I have to get it clean enough that I can see what I’m working with. I was a bit panicked, so I just grabbed what I could.”

“You’re a rather suspicious guy,” I decide.

He stops what he’s doing to gawk at me. “I’m the suspicious one? I still haven’t heard a very good apology for what you’ve done to me.”

Apologize? What the hell would I apologize for? “I was simply doing my job.”

“But you didn’t even bother to look into me? To make sure I was the killer?”

I grimace a little at that. “He was making me work against the clock and he had a lot of pretty legit-looking proof that it was you. He didn’t know where to find you, so my job was to locate you and bring you to him.”

“Clearly he fudged the proof because I’m definitely not some… serial-killing psychopath.”

“I see that,” I say. “I mean… I saw the way you nearly cried after shooting that guy’s finger off.”

Ellis glances up at me, eyes narrowed. “Please. Don’t make me recall that.”

It makes me sigh. “Fine. I’m sorry that I didn’t look into you deeper.”

“And?”

“I don’t know. That I never offered to feed you, I guess?”

“And?”

I think hard about this. “I thumped your head?—”

He waves at his bloody face.

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