Page 22 of The Silencer

Jer's eyebrows shoot up."Are you sure that's wise?"

"Probably not," I admit."But I need to do something.I can't keep living with these what-ifs."

Jer sighs, rubbing his temples."Alright, I'll arrange it.But, Emmanuel, you need to be prepared.This might not go the way you hope."

I nod, a mixture of anticipation and dread churning in my stomach."I know.But I have to try."

As I leave Jer's office, my mind is racing.Am I really ready to face Clodagh?To confront the living embodiment of my father's crimes?

But I know I have to.Because until I do, I'll never truly be free of my father's shadow.And I need to be if I'm going to continue down this path I've chosen.The path of the Silencer.

I pull out my phone and dial Maverick's number.He picks up on the second ring.

"Hey," I say, my voice tight."Just to let you know, I’ve got a job next week, so I won’t be around for a while."I had a call from Cole earlier this evening.I'm travelling to Argentina this time.

There's a pause on the other end.Then, "Do you want me to come with you?"

I consider it for a moment, then shake my head even though he can't see me."No.I’ve got this.”

"Alright, man, but if you change your mind, let me know.”

“I will do.How’s Callie?”

Maverick sighs heavily on the other end of the line."She's...getting there.Still jumpy sometimes, especially around men she doesn't know well.But she's back at work, trying to get her life back on track."

I nod.Callie's situation hits close to home—another innocent life scarred by violence."That's good.Tell her I said hi, yeah?"

"Will do," Maverick replies."And Emmanuel?Call if you need me.Whatever happens, I've got your back."

"Thanks, man," I say, my words filled with gratitude as I end the call.

I’ve got a lot of shit going on, but before I do another job, I’ve got to see Clodagh.I need to close that chapter on my life and put the guilt to bed.

TEN

clodagh

“Clodagh, do you want a ride home?”my best friend Lisa asks as we walk toward the car park where her foster mam is waiting for her.

I shake my head.“No, I’m good, thanks.I’m going to stop by the park for a while.I’ll call you this evening, yeah?”

She grins at me.“It’s Friday,” she says pointedly and I laugh.“Johnny’s having a house party.Let me know if you’re up for it?”

For the past six months, Lisa and I have been going to parties and getting drunk.It’s our way of letting off steam.It’s hard to be at a school where everyone else’s lives are relatively normal and your life is shattered beyond repair.Something that Lisa knows all too well.She lost her mam to suicide and her dad chose his affair partner over her.Lisa’s been through hell and back and she’s still standing, just as I am.

I hesitate for a moment, considering Lisa's invitation.The parties have become a regular thing for us lately—a way to escape, to feel normal for a few hours.Sometimes we go too far.We use alcohol as a crutch to escape the pain we’re feeling inside, the pain we’ve buried so deep it can’t escape.

"I'll think about it," I say finally."Text me the details later?"

Lisa nods, giving me a quick hug before heading to her foster mam's car.I watch her go, knowing she’s safe with her foster mam.We really lucked out with who our foster parents are.

I turn and start walking toward the park, my thoughts drifting.It's been three years since that horrible night, since I lost my family and my old life.Three years of therapy, of nightmares, of slowly learning to trust again.And Tammy has been there through all of it, patient and kind, never pushing but always supporting.

The park is quiet at this time of day.I make my way to my favorite bench, the one overlooking the duck lake.It's where Tammy and I sat that first day, where I started to believe that maybe life could be okay again.

I hear footsteps crunch against the ground behind me and tense.I hate whenever someone comes close to me.

I turn my head slightly, my heart racing as I recognize the figure approaching.It's Emmanuel, Jacob's son.My blood runs cold at the sight of him.

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