Page 4 of Embers in Our Past

I make my way over and embrace my longtime friend from the firehouse. We quickly bonded over our love of running. Since I started at the station, we began a routine of meeting up in our neighborhoods to run a few miles every week. Now we run marathons and have even started clubs with other firehouses, when possible, to raise money during warmer seasons in Boston. It’s been a great way to get to know other stations and connect with different houses.

“Thanks for stopping by.” I thank him and get back to unpacking.

“Where do you need me?” Rios asks.

“Grab a box and have at it,” I say, and Rios isn’t the least bit shy and starts to lend a hand.

The two of us work quickly as Ashton and my brother continue to connect the televisions and other electronics in the house for me.

Rios and I begin discussing our route for our next run. Now that I’m living a little closer to him, we can meet up for our runs halfway, making it a little easier for the two of us in the mornings when we are off shift.

“I think that coffee shop, the one off First Street and Third, will be perfect for us to meet tomorrow. Let’s say six in the morning?” Rios says as he puts a stack of plates in the cabinet next to me.

“That works. That will give me enough time to warm up.” Hopefully, I can get enough sleep tonight. I have slept like shit since Abby left.

“I know things have been rocky since she left. Hopefully, as each day moves forward, you can get into a new routine in this place. This neighborhood is nice though. Nice spots with good restaurants. Walking distance to some good places too.”

“Yeah, I appreciate you hanging out. And the runs are always a good way to keep my mind busy. Plus, the weather now is a good incentive to get myself out of the house. I hate when we have to meet up at the gym in the winter. Those treadmill runs are brutal.” I shake my head.

“Yeah, the hibernation months are shit.” He chuckles.

"How are your sisters doing? The youngest moving back to school soon?" I ask. Rios is surrounded by sisters, and his youngest sister, Baylee, is still in college. There’s a big age gap between him and the baby of the family.

"They're good… mostly. Baylee is a huge pain in my ass. Thank god she's going back to school." He rubs his hands down his face.

“Okay, the technicians have done their jobs.” My brother and Ashton make their way into the kitchen. “Die Hardmarathon is good to commence.” River brings his hands together like a maniacal villain. I can’t help but laugh in response.

“Really, again, with that movie?” Ashton groans.

“Why do you have to hate, Ashie?” he says, taunting him with the nickname he hates.

“You guys always watch that damn movie. Don’t you get sick of it?”

My brother and I look at each other with matching looks of horror. “No!”

“Well, I’m not sticking around for this, AGAIN!” Ashton complains.

Growing up, Ashton endured many nights of Bruce Willis and ourDie Hardmarathons because we were avidly watching the movies. It was our answer to everything.

Tonight is no different. Whenever things got hard in life, we’d pop popcorn and argue ifDie Hardis or isn’t a Christmas movie, which I will go to my grave saying it is a definite fucking holiday classic. We’ll likely argue a little of the same tonight, yet end up sitting back and enjoying the movie much like we always do.

The rest of the afternoon, we finish getting everything settled into my new place. I feel numb at the thought I’m back on my own. It’s hard to imagine my new normal will be so lonely now, but I swallow the lump in my throat, knowing that I have to figure this out now. I look over at Rios, grateful he will meet me in the morning, and we can continue our morning runs. That distraction will continue to get me through this tough time in my life.

He has no idea how much those moments have gotten me through some of my darkest times lately. Even though we might go through our strides in silence, his presence is enough to pull me out of sadness.

Ashton and Rios head out, and I order pizza for River and me. We sit down with our food once it arrives, and before pressing play on the streaming service, River looks my way. “You know you’re not alone, right?”

I swing my head side to side, feeling the loneliness of my surroundings with his words. “We live in the same building, River. I’m well aware.”

“No, Clay, what I mean is, I’m not going to let you go through this alone. I love you. We’re in this together, always.” He clinks his beer against mine, and his words sit between us, the heaviness of his love grabbing hold of my heart.

The way my brother is my lifeline is something no one will ever comprehend. His presence doesn’t take my pain away entirely, but it lessens the sting of Abby leaving just a fraction. He knows he can’t cure my heartbreak but understands he’s easing the pain just a little for a small portion of my day with this time together.

I will never look at life and not appreciate my brother for all he’s done. He’s always been my best friend through all of it. He’s held me up when I’ve felt low. He constantly finds ways to find the lighter side of a serious moment, but he does it to minimize the weight on my shoulders. I know that’s what he’s doing right now.

CHAPTER 2

Abby

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