Page 29 of Embers in Our Past

“Yes. She is just asking how I am.” But then he throws his phone down.

“You can’t just ignore her. It probably makes her confused and hurts her feelings, Malloy.”

“I know, but I’m in an impossible position. I might be pissed at Rios, but it doesn’t mean I want to complicate things further. I need to figure things out with him first,” he tells me as he removes his ball cap and runs his fingers through his hair, a telltale sign he’s irritated.

I move to put my ice cream on my coffee table and stand up. My muscles ache from sitting for too long. I stretch and start to clean up our mess. There’s pizza and snacks thrown about everywhere.

“Listen, ignoring her is only making her question everything more. Give her some sort of answer so she doesn’t wonder what she did wrong. She’s young and figuring things out too, so remember that,” I say as I move through to the kitchen and throw things away.

“I’m going to run to the restroom,” I tell him as he’s grabbing the trash bags from the kitchen trash bins.

“Let me take these out for you,” he says, not giving me room to protest.

I make my way through my apartment and into my master bath. The moment I get into the restroom, I realize why I was feeling like absolute crap earlier today. Since I learned about my fertility struggles, I have had random periods, with my cycles never matching up. My ovulation is incredibly sporadic at best, so I have no clue when I’ll get a period. I’ve tried to track it, but I’m not really regular anymore.

The discomfort I was feeling earlier today felt like period pain, but it also felt a little different, so I ignored it. I guess it was exactly that. This must be a lighter cycle, so I grab what I need and take a few pain relievers in hopes my cramps won’t keep me up throughout the night.

Hopefully, once Malloy heads out, I can still get some work done. I have a few projects to finish up, and I always do my best work at night, so I will likely be up a few more hours to get some extra projects lined up.

When I get back out to the living room, Malloy has the couch back to normal, all the pillows and blankets folded, and the ice cream cleaned up. He’s honestly been a breath of fresh air since we’ve sparked this friendship.

“You doing okay?” he asks.

“Oh yeah, just going to get some work done.” I doubt our friendship has hit that point of telling him about my cycles.

“Do you ever sleep?” He chuckles.

“I’m a night owl. The ability to make my own schedule has its perks. I don’t have to get up early, so I just sleep in if I work too late. Plus, now that it’s snowing, I might just stare out and watch the snowfall.” I look back out to see some of the snowflakes, even though the darkness keeps me from seeing them as easily.

“You really love the snow, don’t you?” he says, looking out to the same view as me.

“Yeah, that California sun just doesn’t scratch the itch quite like a New England snowfall, you know?” I think I was honestly born on the wrong coast.

“Well, enjoy the view. I think it’s going to last a few days from what they said. You have enough groceries?”

Malloy is constantly asking me if I need anything when he’s headed into the area. It’s been nice having him as a friend.

“I’m good. All stocked up. Thanks though,” I tell him.

It’s weird having this close of a relationship with someone and having zero feelings for them romantically. We’ve made comments about it—how much easier it would be if we cared for each other in that way, but that there’s just no spark.

“Well, I’m crashing at Rios’s house.” That comment causes my eyebrows to rise.

“What? When did things improve there? I thought you were giving him the cold shoulder?” I ask.

“I technically am, but I needed a place to stay with the snow and all. I told him he owes me, even though he doesn’t quite see it that way. We’ve spoken a few times about his poor attitude, but I think it will just take time for him to see that there’s nothing going on with his sister and me. I think he’s under the impression something did happen, and I’m lying to him.”

“But what if something does happen? What then?” I ask because that could really blow up in Malloy’s face.

“Honestly, I just can’t see this ending well if I went there. Right now, I’m just trying to fix things. That’s my focus. I’m not responding to her so that I can get things back to how they were. I just need my best friend back. It’s what I’ve always known, Abby.” The way he looks at me breaks my heart. I can see the agony in his gaze.

I nod my head, knowing he’s truly conflicted. I’m here to support him, not judge him. If he needs my support, that’s what I’ll do for him.

“I get it. I’m here for you, no matter what.” I bring my arms out, and he crouches down to pull me into a hug. I feel like I’m being suffocated as he squeezes me.

We walk toward the front door, and he asks, “So what should we watch next? I don’t know what I’ll do if we don’t have this disaster every week to complain about. Plus, now I’m out fifty bucks. I had all my money on Cora,” he whines.

“Are you a Nichols now?” I laugh, even though a part of me is gutted comparing him to my ex-husband.

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