Page 37 of Dex

“What if I hurt her? Or drop her? Fuck, Ads, I don’t know if I can do this.” He sounds so unsure of himself.

“Dex, you will be fine. You would never hurt her. Do you want to sit in the chair?” He twists his body to look at the chair and then looks back to me. He shakes his head.

“I want to stay here; you can help me hold her.” I nod my head. I move to hand the baby over and the midwife comes around to help him adjust his position a little. I copy his actions from earlier and lay my arm around the baby, over his arm, holding her to him. My nose burns as the tears arrive and decide to stream down my face. I am already a fucking hot mess, so what are a few thousand tears to add to the mix? Dex does the same as me; he kisses her hair, her face. He counts her fingers and slowly kisses each one in turn. My tears are coming fast and hard and a sob escapes my throat, drawing his attention me.

“Baby?” I wave him off and lean my head on his shoulder, looking down at the precious gift in my man’s arms.

“Happy tears. We have had a hard few years. I honestly never thought we would get here. I had to believe that one day we would but, Dexter Castle, you can be a bloody pain in the arse when you want to be. I had resided to the fact that we would never be and then this little one comes crashing into our lives, tipping it on its head. She is the reason we are here. Like the name I want for her, she made things clear and brought the brightness back into us. She showed the way. And holy shit I sound like one of those bloody Hallmark movies that Penny loves so much.” We all laugh.

“I will be right back, you two,” the midwife says. I nod at her and she offers me a smile.

“So, what are we going to name her?” Dex asks. “We both want completely different names. It is going to be hard to chose, babe.” I shake my head at him. I know what she will be named. She looks like the name I have chosen for her.

“My name suits her, but I have one alteration to it.” My heart rate spikes. I’m not sure how he going to react to my decision. I take a deep breath and move my head so I can look at him head on. I brace myself and tell him what I want to name our daughter.

“I want to name her Phoebe Fiona Castle.” I hear him suck in a breath. I close my eyes and will the tears to stop. I know how much he loved Fiona and they had always wanted children, so adding her name to my daughter’s name is in honour of her. Well, that’s what I think. The bed moves and my eyes snap open; I look at Dex who is now standing next to the bed, holding the baby close to his chest. He looks between me and the baby. When his gaze catches mine, I see he has tears in his beautiful eyes, my heart aches for this man standing before me.

I look down at my hands in my lap and pick at the cracking blue nail varnish I have on, I change the colour up all the time. My toes not so much; the belly got in the way.

Seconds, minutes, hours pass, I have no bloody clue how much time. But I do know that Dex is still silent. At least if I have a heart attack from my over-beating heart I am in the right place to do so. I rub my chest to try and alleviate the pain that is there. My head snaps to Dex when he clears his throat. His face wet from his tears.

“Dex,” I whisper his name, my emotion clogging up my throat.

“Have I told you how much I fucking love you?” I nod my head and wipe the tears away, stopping them from dripping down my chin. “Good, because you bringing Phoebe into my life made the love triple. But giving her that name? Fuck, Ads.” He clears his throat again, fighting through the emotion. “You have made me the happiest man on the planet. We planned for kids, but you know how that turned out. But putting her name in our daughter’s... Damn, that is perfect, but only if you are sure. Baby, I would never force you into anything you don’t want to do.” I cock an eyebrow at him and he chuckles. “Okay, fine. I won’t try and force you anymore. Besides, I have pretty much everything I want, so there is no need to force you into anything.” He winks at me and I smile. We are both on cloud nine and above right now.

“So you like her name then?” I have to ask, I know it sounds stupid. But I need to clarify he is on board with her full name.

“Baby, it is perfect for her. Phoebe Fiona Castle.” He leans in and kisses her head. His smile fills his face when he looks back to me. “Plus, you will be Addison Castle soon, so your name will match ours.” He bounces his eyebrows at me. He has been hinting for the last few weeks for us to get married. I would fucking love to be Mrs Castle but we need to take our time - take one step at a time. His words from just a second ago come fluttering to the front of my loved-up, gooey brain.

“Pretty much everything?” I ask, tilting my head.

“You caught that, yeah?” I nod with an ‘umm-yeah’ look.

“Well, I have the woman I love. I have a beautiful daughter that I love. Now I would like a son to complete the package.” My heart stutters and so does my speech.

“I-I’m sorry what?”

“You heard me. As soon as we can get back to it, I want to try for a boy. Phoebe needs a sibling. I love how close me and Jay are. I want that for our kids.” He shrugs like he just asked for the TV remote.

“How about we wait a few years? Let’s enjoy Pheebs first, okay?”

He nods his head but the cocky smirk on his face shows me that he has no fucking intention of waiting. God help me and my baby cannon.

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