Page 38 of Dex

The last twoweeks have been fucking amazeballs. My baby girl is fourteen days old today. If these two weeks has flown by, I can only imagine that in a blink of an eye she will be eighteen and leaving home and shacking up with some prick that I don’t think is good enough for her. Shit, no lad will be good enough for my Phoebe. She is my little tink, as I like to call her. My little pixie. She is so small. She weighs just four pounds and fifteen ounces. She lost three ounces in the first few days but she is gaining it back.

Sitting here with Phoebe lying on my bare chest is the best thing ever. I often do the skin to skin thing that was suggested to us in the hospital. Phoebe couldn’t regain her body temp, but they said that skin to skin contact would help and it did. Being like this with me calms her, as well. Addy is pottering around in the bedroom, rushing to get ready to have some girl time with Penny and the girls. I have made it very clear that she is not to over do it, she has to remember that she had a baby two weeks ago. Liam is going with them as Penny only has a few weeks left.

Phoebe stirs on my chest and I kiss her soft hair. Her smell is heart warming. Not much beats newborn baby smell. The best thing next to her mum’s intense sexual smell. Her tiny, little nappy covered bum sits in my large hand; just like her mum she would rather wear nothing, or next to nothing, around the house. Even though it is summer here, you can’t guarantee the weather to be nice. So every now and then we put the heating on. My house is warm anyway, Fiona had under-floor heating added to the kitchen and bathroom, and we had a heating panel added in front of the fire.

I hear the front door open and close, then heavy footsteps getting closer. I know they belong to my little brother; he has been visiting a lot since my girls got out of the hospital. I know that something is bothering him, he has been quieter than normal and anyone who knows Jay knows that it is out of character for him. He walks into the living room and his eyes light up when he sees that Pheebs is awake. I shake my head at him.

“Nope. Dad and daughter time. You can have your fix later, man,” I tell him. He fake pouts and leans back against the doorframe, cocking his head back slightly to shout up the stairs.

“Addy, your man won’t let me hold my girl. I need my Pheebs fix.” Phoebe startles and let’s out a high pitched screech. Jay’s gaze snaps to where my little tink is crying. “Shit, sorry,” he whispers, as he comes over to where we are sitting on the sofa and he touches her head, running his hand over her black hair.

“Just lower the volume, dude. She startles easy, especially if she is chilling with me like this.”

“I know. Sorry.” He takes the seat next to me and fixes his eyes on the TV whereScorpionis playing via Netflix. I can tell straight away something is off with him. He is being quiet again. Big brother duties are a must.

I turn my head to look at him. He has dark circles under his eyes. “You okay?” I ask him, concerned. This is not normal behaviour for Jay.

Without taking his eyes off the TV, he answers, “Yeah.” He takes a deep breath and after a few seconds he turns his head to meet my gaze. I can see the anguish in his eyes. Jay always was one to wear his heart on his sleeve. “What?”

“Talk to me. What’s up? And do not say ‘nothing’ Jay, I can fucking see it.”

“Stop bloody swearing around the baby,” comes my baby’s voice, from behind us. I tilt my head back slightly to see her walking into the living room. I smile when I see my girl. Fuck, she looks sexy as hell. You never would have thought that she had a baby two weeks ago. Being a mum looks fucking good on her.

She has her hair down with some soft waves added. I still love the new colour on her. She is wearing a long black and white striped maxi skirt with a white thin-strapped vest under a sleeveless denim waistcoat. She walks around the sofa and I can see the black sandals she is wearing. God, my girl looks fucking hot. I smile up at her and she mirrors my smile.

“You all ready to go?” I look up at her and ask.

“Yeah, babe.” She leans in and kisses tink on the head and then offers her lips to me. And who am I to refuse them. “Are you sure you are going to be okay? I can stay here.” I love that she is thinking of me, but her life doesn’t stop just because she has a baby. No one's lives should come to a halt just because they have kids, yeah their priorities change but shit, they are human as well. We need to let loose once in awhile, otherwise shit builds up and then explodes, which is never good.

“How are you going to feed her? Did you pump the boobs or what?” And he is back; for now.

“Piss off, Jay. Do not talk about my girl’s tits like that, man,” I growl next to him. Addy looks a little upset; she has been so worried about the feeding thing with the baby.

“No, Jay. Tink is taking baby milk, I couldn’t breastfeed. She didn’t want to take from me.” I see the anguish flash across her face. She tried for a few days but tink was getting hungrier, she refused the boob. The midwives tried helping but the baby wanted none of it. They explained to Addy that is wasn’t her fault, that some babies don’t like the breast. No woman should be made to feel bad about not breastfeeding. Yeah, breast milk is better for the baby, but powder formula milk is just as good these days.

Dude,” I say to Jay, and hand over a sleeping Phoebe. He takes her without hesitation, he knows his question has upset Ads. He settles Phoebe on his chest and he looks up at Addy. He sees her pain and he looks upset himself that he has made her feel crappy.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Addy.” She offers him a small smile.

“It’s fine, Jay.” I stand and wrap my arms around my girl. Her arms go around my waist and she holds me tight to her. She fits perfectly against me, always has. I still struggle with the fact that I waited so long to be with her; the fact that I hurt her for so many years. But we are here now, so no more looking back. We have each other, we have Phoebe and we have the perfect family surrounding us. The love and support is overwhelming.

“I love you, baby. Me and Pheebs with be alright. I’m not sure about my brother because, come on, he has never been quite right. Has he?”

“Hey, fuckhead. I will have you know I am perfect in every way.” Addy laughs against my chest and just like that, her worries lift. I will do everything in my power to make sure she feels no more pain.

“That is very much debatable, Jay,” Ads says, as she pulls away from me a little, still laughing.

“Laugh it up people. You still love me.” He stands with Phoebe in his arms. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and spend some quality time with this perfect little lady and change her nappy because she has an arse like her dad.” He pulls a face of disgust after he sniffs her little nappy covered bottom. “Damn, baby girl, what are these people feeding you?” he asks the baby as he walks out of the room.

“Jay, wait,” Addy calls after him. “I want kisses from my girl first.” Addy walks over to where he is standing and lightly runs her hands over Phoebe’s head and her back, laying soft kisses over her head. “I will miss you, baby girl. See you later. Now go and make Uncle Jay wretch.” She winks at Jay before walking back over to me. Jay leaves the room and I pull Ads back into my arms.

“Kiss your man before you go.” She leans into me and takes my mouth; I will never get enough of this woman. Her warm mouth covers mine, sweet and intoxicating. I swear she takes control over my body when her lips touch mine. I hold her tighter to me and she moans into my mouth. I know we should stop but I can’t drag my mouth from hers. Thank fuck, she pulls away.

“I really need to go, baby. The girls are waiting.” She kisses me once more before picking her iPhone up from the coffee table. I walk with her to the front door and watch as she walks outside. She runs back to me quickly and gives me one more lasting deep, sensual kiss.

“Baby, go now, or my brother can watch Phoebe for a few hours while I fucking devour you.” She sniggers at me and walks towards her new car. When Phoebe was a few days old, I went out and bought her a brand new Audi Q3, in red. She flipped out when I bought it for her but it was better than the shitty Rover she had. I blow her a kiss as she backs out of the drive, before I walk back into the house and shut the door behind me. I can hear Jay talking to Phoebe when I enter the living room.

“You are going to break hearts all over the world, Phoebe Castle. You are going to be loved by many and you are going to live and love. Do not let your heart settle, you find the one and hold on flipping tight.” I chuckle at his choice of words, I am glad he isn’t swearing around her, but I do, so I can’t really bitch about it even if he did. But Jay’s words let me know something is really bothering him. It’s time for a brother to brother talk.

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