Page 92 of Ugly Beautiful Scars

What if there could be a future for us? What if, after her stalkers are caught and this job is over, we could have something real? Where I'm not just her protector but her partner?

I might be ready for that. After years of keeping everyone at arm's length and defining myself by what I can do rather than who I am, I could be ready.

But above all of that, am I whatsheneeds?

What if I fail her?

I glance at my watch.Shit.If I'm going to do this, if I'm going to send Mike home for the weekend, I need to do it now. It'sThursday, so Mike needs enough time to pack and get to the airport. And I need to hope there's a flight that leaves at a good time tomorrow morning.

I glance at the clear sky outside the window. So what's my decision? Draw a hard line between me and Londyn and stay the soldier who keeps his distance? Or burn every bridge as I move closer to her, toward something I might not be equipped to handle?

Wunmi's face surfaces and her last moments replay in hideous detail. But for the first time, I'm not as focused on my mistake.

I never got to say goodbye to my sis.

It was so quick, like the snap of fingers. One moment she was alive, the next gone.

It makes me sick to even have this thought, but what if something happens to Londyn? What if it has nothing to do with the stalkers, and she simply has an accident one day? Hit by a car. A disease the doctors can't cure. A random shooting in a shopping center.

Life is fragile and too easily snuffed out. Despite my worries, I don't want to regret not getting this time with her, even if I'm not ready or she's moving too fast after her revelation. Even if we're both stumbling in the dark, I want it.

I think that's what freedom really is. Not the absence of duty or danger, but the choice to reach for something despite them.

Guess I've decided.

My phone is suddenly in my hand and my thumbs are typing in a ticket website. I book a flight to Florida for tomorrow morning, 10:15 AM, along with Mike's return ticket for Tuesday. The confirmation page stares back at me as my heart pounds.

It's done.

I still don't have all the answers for my doubts, but I do have the certainty that I can't walk away from her now. I just need to get Mike to go along with this without getting suspicious.

I frown at my phone.Yeah, good luck with that.

First, I should butter him up. He's been at the monitoring hub for hours. The man's probably hungry. Definitely going stir-crazy staring at those screens. Perfect opportunity.

I grab my wallet and head toward the door. "Going out for tea," I announce as I leave my bedroom. I play it casual and like I don't have ulterior motives. "Need anything?"

Mike glances up, lifting a brow. "Coffee wouldn't hurt. Strong enough to wake the dead."

"I'll see what I can do."

I leave the building quickly. The late afternoon air hits me with the scent of exhaust and someone's cigarette smoke froma nearby stoop. At the café on the corner, I order Mike's usual heart-attack-in-a-cup along with an herbal tea for myself. Then I spot something to sweeten the deal: those maple pecan things that Mike's been raving about since we got here. I add two to my order.

Butter him up. Then drop the bomb.

When I get back to the apartment, he's still hunched in front of the monitors like they might sprout wings and fly away if he blinks.

"Special delivery," I announce, handing him the goods.

He sets the coffee cup down then pops open the white paper bag. His face lights up like I've just handed him the keys to a Ferrari. "Holy shit, you got the maple things? I was just thinking about these." He tears into the wax paper, taking a bite that's definitely too big for polite company. Crumbs scatter across his lap as he lets out an indecent moan. "Wish I could send some of these to Mona. She'd go crazy for these. But thanks, man. You're a goddamn mind reader."

I could say the same about him because he just gave me the perfect opening.

I settle in the chair beside him, sipping my passion fruit herbal tea and scanning the security feeds. Londyn is working at her desk and everything else is quiet.

I glance at my watch like I'm bored then say in a bland tone, "What if you surprised Mona with some this weekend?"

Mike laughs, clearly thinking I'm joking. "How fun would that be? They'd be so surprised! I bet Mona would faint." His laugh fades and he screws up his face. "Though seriously, she might. She's done it before, so I don't think I'd show up out of the blue. She needs a heads up. She's carrying precious cargo, so can't have her passing out on the floor." More laughing.

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