Page 104 of Outspoken

I plop into a chair at the kitchen table. “Asshole.”

“You’re the one lying.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do. I didn’t say anything because you were deliriously cheerful when we got back. Figured you spent time with Miguel while we were gone and kept seeing him.” He chugs water from a bottle and leans smugly against the counter.

With a scowl, I say, “So you knew this entire time and weren’t going to say anything?”

He shrugs. “Why? It’s your business. I warned both of you, but you’re both stubborn. I decided to make peace with it. Maybe I’m wrong and it won’t be a disaster. Won’t know until you do it.” He takes another gulp of water and then adds, “If you worked through whatever happened at his cousin’s party and you’re now happier because of Miguel, I’m not going to intervene.”

I dig at a groove in the table with my thumbnail, not responding. This jerk Sherlock Holmes over here thinks he’s got the edge on everyone.

Brody sets a water bottle in front of me, not that I need it. I’m hydrated.

“You really have feelings?” he asks.

“I feel weird talking with you about this.”

With another shrug, he turns toward the living room.

“But,” I say quickly, making him stop, “I don’t know what I’m feeling. How did you know you had feelings for Paige?”

After joining me at the table, he crosses his arms. “You’re right. It does feel weird talking about this with you.” We both smile, then he says, “Miguel gave me a checklist.”

I laugh. “What checklist?”

“I don’t remember exactly, but something like, ‘Do you think about her all the time? Do you have more than a physical relationship?’ Questions to figure out if you’re in love.”

“If I answer yes, then it’s love?”

“I don’t know.”

I roll my eyes. “God, you’re no help. Why am I talking to you?”

His arms relax and he leans forward. “I see love as being willing to risk anything to protect that person. You make sacrifices and compromises because you know she means everything. You want to put in the work because your future together trumps all else. Love is wanting what’s best for her and wanting to meet her needs so she’s happy. It’s being grateful for everything she does for you and the connection you share.”

I keep picking at the table. “You sound like a real adult.”

He frowns. “Don’t know if you’re being sarcastic or—”

“No. Sorry.” I stop picking and sit up straighter. “I didn’t mean it to come out like that.” Chewing my inner cheek, I resist the urge to hug my waist and try to hide myself. I didn’t mean to get defensive, but it slipped out since emotions suck.

I do my best to sit here in front of Brody with this uncomfortable, raw feeling in my chest. It’s like someone peeled my skin back to expose everything. But I need to start breaking my typical patterns and responses, especially if I’m going to get involved with Miguel. That man isveryopen with emotions.

I meet Brody’s steady gaze. “I meant that you’ve grown a lot. Not that you weren’t always more mature than me, because you are, you’ve just…changed. In a good way.” Before he can respond, I add. “And I don’t know if what I feel fits with your viewpoint. I want Miguel to be happy, just like I want you and Paige to be happy. We haven’t really dated, so I can’t think of the future yet…”

My throat constricts and my tongue is lead, like my body is trying to stop me from continuing. I’ve never felt this way about a guy and, for whatever reason, this feels harder to talk about that telling others about my accident and addictions.

Brody can tell I’m struggling, so he softens against his chair and waits, hands resting in his lap.

I swallow to force my throat open, but it’s still tight. I close my eyes. I can’t look at Brody anymore if I’m going to get this out.

As my knee bounces, shaking my whole body, I say, “What confuses me is how I feel around him. I feel more normal and capable. He makes me want to be better. And you know me—I push people away. But I don’t want to. I don’t want to push him away. I want to be a better me and do nice stuff for him and treat him well because that’s what he deserves.”

I open an eye to peek at Brody.

He raises his eyebrows. “Think that’s what you’re feeling.”

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