Page 39 of Before I Deserved You
Like a criminal on the run, I hide, lurking in the shadows as I watch Mr. Nelson’s truck speed down the road before it disappears. It’s no secret that the house is never locked, so gaining access isn’t a problem. Like a wraith, I slip through the back door and walk upstairs on silent feet before gently nudging Jake’s bedroom door open just wide enough to peek inside.
He’s passed out on top of the covers, chest rising and falling in a calming rhythm, lips slightly parted as soft snores escape. If I had to take a guess, I’d wager his swollen nose makes the simple task of breathing rather difficult—my poor boy.
My heart aches looking at his battered face. How does he stand it? How does he get up each and every morning, facing the day, knowing he’s sharing a home with a monster? His breathing falters, and he stirs, lifting one arm over his head. When the movement exposes a small strip of yellow and purplish skin, I draw closer, driven by curiosity and concern. Before I can stop myself, I’ve already hooked two fingers under the hem of his shirt, pushing the cotton further up his torso.
“Oh my God,” I gasp, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth to squash the sound. It’s a futile attempt at best because Jake’s eyes fly open at the startled sound. He jumps at the sight of me towering over him, hissing through his teeth when the jerky movement seems to cause him pain.
“Jesus, Tessa. You scared the crap out of me.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
Jake draws himself upright and heavily leans against the headboard for support before locking his good eye on me.
“What time is it? Shouldn’t you be at school?”
I make myself comfortable at the foot of the bed, crossing my legs and settling in for the long haul. I don’t plan on going anywhere.
“It’s early. School’s just about to start, and it’ll have to start without me because I’m not leaving.” Jake arches a disapproving brow. “Nothing important happens on the first day, anyway,” I argue. “Besides, I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, worrying. I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate anyway.”
The corner of his mouth curls up as his eyes soften. That he can even smile at all is a testimony to his resilience, and before I know it, a lone tear rolls over the apple of my cheek before it soaks into the bedspread beneath me.
“It’s not as bad as it looks.”
“It’s not?” My voice is a hoarse whisper. “You’re black and blue. I’m hurting just looking at you. How could a father do this to his own son?”
“Beats me,” Jake shrugs, running the tip of his tongue over the split in his bottom lip. “On the plus side, he did apologize this morning right after he made us breakfast. Anything can be forgiven with a generous serving of bacon, right?”
“How can you joke about this?” I ask, getting irritated by his nonchalant attitude. Jake’s jovial expression falls, and his head drops back on a sigh, exposing a cluster of bruises that looks suspiciously like the shape of a hand. The sight is so jarring it rips a broken sob from my chest.
“Baby. Please, don’t cry. I’m okay. Believe it or not, Dad actually looked genuinely sorry this morning after I gave him a piece of my mind. I think thefact that the cat is out of the bag now really scares him. I’m sure he’ll think twice about touching me from now on.”
“Until he drinks himself into a stupor and forgets about Carter’s pictures and the repercussions they might bring. And what happens if we’re not there to interfere then?”
“It won’t happen again.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“I have to believe that,” he snaps, finally displaying the level of anger one might expect from someone in his position. I must’ve flinched, for he sucks in a calming breath before continuing in a much softer tone. “I’ll lose my damn mind if I don’t believe that seeing the damage he’s caused, in addition to you guys catching him in the act, won’t keep him in check. I won’t lie. Yesterday rattled me. Trust me, I’m well aware that this is all kinds of fucked up. For a few seconds, I was convinced he’d kill me, and that the only way out of that kitchen was in a goddamn body bag. Is that what you want to hear? That I was terrified? That I’m in so much pain right now I almost think it would’ve been kinder if he hadn’t stopped?”
“Jake, I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t,” he cuts me off, his face a contorted mask as he presses a hand flat against his ribs. “I have to believe that I got through to him,” he tells me with a newfound determination. “That I reached him on some level because if I don’t, I might as well just fucking shoot myself.”
For a prolonged moment I just sit there, stunned into silence as my heart drops into my stomach, wishing more than anything that there was a way for me to help. But Jake is right. Unless we get the authorities involved, there’s nothing we can do except hope for the best. I move toward him, cuddling into his uninjured side. Jake gives me a one-armed squeeze and rests his temple against my head. I listen to his breathing even out and wait for the tension to leave his body before I dare speak again.
“Well, you know what they say about the power of manifestation. I just have to believe it too, then, because I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt again.” I glance up at him, offering him a weak smile. Slowly, the wild glint in his eyes dissipates, and he leans in to press a soft kiss to my lips.
“Everything is going to be okay. As long as I have you, I can get through anything.”
I blow out a long breath and go with him when he sinks deeper into the pillows.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but I think I’m all talked out. I just want to go back to sleep and forget about all this for a while.”
Nodding in understanding, I run the back of my fingers over his discolored cheek with a featherlight touch.
“Do you mind if I stay? I have nowhere else to go until school is out, and I just need to be close to you.”
“I’d like that.” A jaw-cracking yawn takes over his body, and for the first time since I got here, I notice just how much this whole ordeal has taken out of him. The last thing he needs is me barging into his sanctuary and criticizing the way he chooses to deal with his trauma. What he needs now is my unwavering love and support. Someone to have his back, no matter what. That I can do. I slide under the sheets, and he immediately gathers me close, pulling me into his front with a sound of contentment. With my backside firmly nestled against his groin, we lie still for so long my eyes grow heavy, but I’m jerked out of my trance-like state when I feel him harden behind me.
