Page 24 of Mahogany 1

With a sigh, I shifted my car in park and killed the engine. What the fuck did Elaine mean my daughter? I was so caught off guard by that shit that I didn’t really give any thought to the other details. Car accident. Critical condition. Emergency contact. Why in the fuck did Erika have me listed as an emergency contact? We weren’t together. Off rip, I circled back to the ‘your daughter shit.’ Why in the hell did she have me listed on hers too? My head was damn near spinning for real.

I walked into the emergency room and immediately hit the check in desk.

“Hey yeah, I got a call earlier about Erika Little and?—”

“Diary,” said someone from behind.

Glancing over my shoulder, I made eye contact with an older woman. Had to be in her late fifties. Eyes were sad and puffy likeshe’d been crying for hours. If she was who I thought she was, of course she had been.

Turning around, I faced her. “Yeah… Erika and Diary. I’m?—”

“I know who you are. They couldn’t reach me, so they called you,” she interrupted again, approaching. “Erika is my daughter. Diary—yourdaughter—is my grandchild.”

7

MAHOGANY

“Long time no see,”said the bartender, Angel.

I smiled and sat my purse on the bar top before sitting on a stool. “Yeah. Gave this place a break.”

I was at Pandora’s. Hadn’t been in months and for good reason. The last time I was in the building it was to watch. However, even that was a bit much so, I stopped visiting all together. It never had been a place for me as a married woman. But prior to a couple of years ago, I had every right to be in attendance. Duke wasn’t shit. Steady cheating, breaking my heart. These days, Pandora’s wasn’tneeded. He hadn’t cheated and I felt like the last time I participated was get back enough.

“Same ol’, same ol’?” Angel asked, reaching for the bottle of whiskey, ready to make me a Manhattan.

I used to visit so much that the bartenders knew me by name and drink. Mocha. That’s what I went by. Had to have an alias, always wore my mask. Unless I was in a VIP suite, which I rarely ever was. The mask gave me the freedom I needed. Without it, I would have thought too much. Would have worried. Would have easily morphed into that Mahogany I was the first night.

The first night was the reason I’d visited today.

I was in my feelings during this time of year, remember? Longing. No longer wishing. Just longing. For him. Tonight, more than the other morning. Duke pissed me off.

I was still on the same tip I was on earlier; pissed about therapy. Madder now because instead of coming home like he was supposed to, he went over his boys house. What kind of shit was that?

Now look. I’m at Pandora’s surrounded by amazing sex, good vibes, and good drinks and what was I doing? Thinking about him. Thinking about the mistakes I made when I was too young to have a backbone. The only reason I’d come was because he wasn’t home. Couldn’t imagine sitting there, wallowing in regret while he had a good night, surrounded by his funky ass friends. Fuck them. And fuck him.

Today was a day. Work hadn’t even been good. All I did all day, for hours was stress about a meeting I had coming up. I thought, for some odd reason, that therapy would turn my day around. I thought, maybe after we’d talk about the session, he’d soothe my triggers, and we’d enjoy the rest of the day. The best way we could, at least. I wanted a bit of normalcy after. But… hello. The nigga couldn’t give a damn about the way I felt because he didn’t feel the same.

“Two,” I told Angel after she slid the drink in front of me.

With raised brows, she leaned on the bar top. “Long day?”

“Long ass day,” I added before taking a sip of the drink. The minute the velvety, smoky, taste hit my tastebuds, I lightly sighed. God, I missed this.

Lately, I’d been drinking a lot more than usual. Had been a while since I had anything as strong as a Manhattan though. Tonight, Caymus just wasn’t going to cut it. Lounging around in my pajamas wasn’t going to cut it neither. So, I was dressed in a bad ass all black, leather jumpsuit I changed into once I got to the club. Would be changing out of it before I left, but at leastI looked good as hell for the moment. I needed whiskey and action. The perfect distraction.

I was sitting on the same stool I sat in five years ago, thinking about him. The minute I sat down, I ruminated, that regret deepening by the second. I hated how much of a pussy I was. Wished I was the woman I was today, back then. I would have fucked Armani suit on the bar top if Marlon—the bartender—would have let me.

I took another sip, lightly sighing again. This time because I wanted him. I would have sucked his dick, with my eyes locked on his, snatching his soul the way onlyMochacould. Would have swallowed every drip of his nut and then went home and kissed my husband. With tongue. He deserved that back then. Sometimes, I felt like he deserved it now. Revenge with Armani suit would have been the absolute sweetest because you know what? Duke cheated on me with three other women after that night.

“That makes two of us, girl,” Angel stated with a sigh. Looking around, she added, “It’s slow for a Friday night.”

I looked around with a nod.

It was.Veryslow. It was a few steps down from the way it was five years ago. The same type of people frequented the place. Politicians, rappers, news anchors, police officers, but there were a lot of people in masks now.

Somebody with a one night only pass breeched contract and went on a telling spree. Behind a fake page at least. Because they didn’t have any pictures or an invitation to back it up, a lot of people thought it was trolling. Most of the people she mentioned had never been in the media with stories like the ones she shared, hanging over their heads. They figured it was some bitter, bored conspiracy theorist behind the page. However, Emerald knew. She had the person tracked down a day after thepage went up. Although she had done damage control, Pandora’s still took a hit.

“It been like this all month?” I asked, worried about Em.

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