Page 25 of Mahogany 1

We did do lunch every Wednesday, but she failed to mention how things were doing at the club. We didn’t really talk about Pandora’s, as odd as it might’ve been. We were just really good friends who apparently needed one another.

“Yep. That page is going viral again. Might’ve been taken down, but the screenshots steady circulating Facebook.”

“Damn,” I mumbled, taking another sip, finishing the drink.

I made a mental note to check in with Emerald about it. Pandora’s was her baby, just as much as Couture was mine. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if my clientele list dropped severely because of a couple of bad reviews.

Flicking my wrist, I checked the time on my watch. It was inching in on ten. Duke said he’d be home by then. I didn’t care to be there when he arrived. Fuck him. According to him, I was at Sienna’s house. Location pinged there and everything. I dropped my iPad off there before I hopped on the freeway. Was she upset? Yes. Only because she thought I was cheating. Did I explain anything to her? Hell naw. Sienna knew what Sienna needed to know about my situation. I never overshared. Not only because I didn’t want her in my business but because it was complicated to explain. My need for freedom and companionship.

I turned around on my stool and put my focus on the room. I couldn’t escape it. The thought of Duke. I needed a deeper distraction. Something that would slide in balls deep and hit the bottom of my pussy. I brushed my hand through my hair with a deep breath. I shouldn’t have come here. I was trying, remember? But was he? And who’s to say he was at his friends house? He could’ve been with a bitch for all I knew.

Excuses.

I was clawing for them. Digging for any reason to scour the club for a victim. Not really a victim. Him. Nothimbut… him. Judah. Someone who’d make me cum three times back-to-back. A real pussy connoisseur.

He was my first.My second if we’re being technical. Found me on this very barstool, scanning the club forhim. Mr. Armani suit. I spent three months looking for and waiting forhimto come back. On the night that I had my Pandora’s cherry popped, I’d finally decided to let him go. He wasn’t returning and I was pissed. Pissed and horny as fuck.

After watching Judah, watch me for two and a half months, I finally gave in to his beckoning eye contact and locked eyes with him. Once I met him there, it was a wrap. He nodded, I nodded, and just like that, he made his way over to me. Ju was handsome, saw that the first time I noticed him. Would have fucked him sooner if I hadn’t grown attached to a feeling. Anyway, he was very handsome, with piercing eyes that made my pussy pulsate. His presence wasn’t as heavy ashis. Judah didn’t hold the same weight. Didn’t have a smell that would stay seared into my nostrils. Didn’t feel what I felt withhimwhen he extended his hand for me to shake. Felt nothing, actually. But what Ju did have was something no one else had. Big dick energy.

There were a lot of men walking around Pandora’s with big dicks, but they didn’t have that energy. They were deep in their egos, naked from the waist down, walking around with it on display with pride. Judah had the presence of a man that carried one. Everything about him said he made up for what he didn’t carry in energy, with what he had between his legs. And I was right.

He fucked me good. Took away all of my frustrations. Made Duke and his cheating a distant memory. Momentarily. It always was momentarily. The minute that orgasm subsided, it was right back to reality. Right back to hurting. Right back to running…from the truth. Which was why it was easy to walk away from Pandora’s. It was a temporary fix for a more than temporary problem.

Would have been nice not to give a damn tonight. Would have been nice to live someplace outside of my head. But… I didn’t. Not because I didn’t want to cheat on Duke. But because if I was to cheat, I would want it to be worth it. Would want it to be withhim. Judah might’ve sufficed, if I saw him but the fact of the matter was that… I was tired of settling.Even if he was here, I’d probably just nod, finish my drinks and leave. Ju did a good job, but he couldn’t do whathedid, with clothes on, with clothes off and my whole pussy in his mouth.

Sighing, I turned back around, picked my second drink up and ignored the party around me. Got lost in that fantasy again. Sometimes, I was foolish enough to think it could be what my sister experienced. A soul tie. She talked about feeling. About connection. She found her person here too. Was pegged with questions similar to mine. The difference between her experience and mine was vaguely different. She had him. Experienced him. Was connected, truly. Felt like I only thought what I experienced with Armani suit was soul deep because I wanted what she had. Not literally. Just… wanted to experience soaring on solid ground. Wished I could have had that with my husband. Because I wanted it, every year around this time, I psyched myself out to believe it was something more. Every year, I thought, this year would be the year. To do what exactly? Fall in love with another man? While I was still, miserably married?

I was a mess. Now. Tomorrow, when today was over, I’d be me again. Sane with the delusional thought of him far from my mind.

Sliding my purse in front of me, I fished around it to pay Angel.Hewasn’t here. Like always. That was a good thing. I washere to watch… barely did that… not to cheat. I was trying. We were trying. Always fucking trying.

When I pulledinto the driveway, Duke was pulling in too. I looked over to the time and it was close to eleven-thirty. Way past the time he gave me. I didn’t have room to talk shit to him about it, but I planned to.

Grabbing my things, I got out of the car, staggering just a bit. Those Manhattan’s had me off my ass a little. I had to put the car on cruise control. And by the looks of things, Duke was drunk too. He hadn’t turned my way once. It was almost as if he didn’t even notice I was there. I slammed the car door and everything. Still nothing and he was parked right next to me. With dipped brows, I tapped on his window and finally he gave me something. Flinched, and quickly turned his car off.

When I heard the doors unlock, I opened his. “Damn nigga?—”

“My bad Ne, I’m fucked up,” he interrupted, with his head tossed back against the headrest. “Them niggas, bro.”

I sized him up.

“What time is it?” He asked, with his glossy red eyes centered on me.

With a frown, I said, “Eleven thirty. You said before ten.”

“I just said I’m fucked up, too, Ne. Damn, I lost track of time,” he snapped.

“I bet you did. Because you don’t give a fuck,” I snapped, slamming his door shut.

A second later, he opened it, slammed it again, and followed me up toward the house. “I said I was sorry, Mahogany. Shit. It’s been a long ass day. I wasn’t even late. Fuck you trippin for?”

I looked over my shoulder at him, staggering like crazy and sighed. He could barely walk; he was so fucked up. Because I wasn’t as heartless as I might’ve come off as, I stopped, waiting for him to get to the stairs, and helped him up. It was more for the kids than it was for me. It was well past bedtime, but if this nigga walked into the house, falling around, he’d for sure wake them and I was in no mood for mommy mode.

“My bad, Ne, I’m sorry,” he said. “Sorry for bein’ late… Sorry for everything. Damn don’t hate me man.”

He was drunker than I thought. Smelled like a fucking distillery, slurring over his words. It was a blessing he made it home in one piece. Tank and them stayed deep in the hood—we were out in the suburbs, a good twenty-five, thirty-minute drive from them and that’s with the freeway. You’d think he would’ve drank responsibly. Probably didn’t want to. Maybe therapy was harder on him than I thought.

“What have you been drinking, Duke? My God,” I complained. It was almost as if he wasn’t helping at all. Damn near all of his body weight was on me.

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