Page 65 of Lucien

The vampire below him smiled wider, opening his eyes and meeting Jamie’s gaze. “You can ask me, you know. About turning.”

Jamie felt his face heat at being caught staring. “How— How was it for you? Howisit for you? You don’t seem out of control or anything.”

Danny shook his head. “It’s different when you’ve already found your tether, we think. I didn’t have any of the crazed bloodlust Roman and Luc remember. Neither did Gabe, for that matter. It still means we’ll have to leave our hometown someday, with the never aging thing. But that’s a small sacrifice to make in exchange for everything I’ve gained, I think.”

“And what have you gained?” Jamie asked, already guessing the answer. He didn’t think Danny was the type to be wooed by the special bonus powers: the speed, the strength, the rapid healing.

“Roman,” Danny answered simply, like it was the easiest choice in the world. And maybe it was. Jamie had long thought the exchange would be worth it, for the right person. For a chance at real love.

Except…

“But you didn’t get to make that sacrifice, did you?” Jamie asked. “It was madeforyou.Lucchose for you.”

“He did,” Danny agreed, not a hint of malice in his tone.

Jamie couldn’t help it—his hands left the confines of his pockets, and he began drumming his fingers against his leg. He wished he’d remembered to carry a couple toothpicks. “Is this where I apologize for him?” he asked. “Luc gets…angry. He doesn’t always have control over himself—the monster takes over.”

It felt like a lame excuse, but it was the only one he had to give.

“The monster…,” Danny murmured. He shot Jamie an assessing look. “I’m surprised he hasn’t turnedyoualready, if I’m being honest. He was so obsessed with the idea of mates. I thought he’d turn his the moment he found them.”

Jamie’s stomach sank at Danny’s words, and Danny must have seen some sign of it in his face, because he rushed to amend his statement. “No, I think it’s a good thing! He’s showing restraint. Hecaresfor you. Truly cares for you. It’s obvious just looking at the two of you together. I wasn’t sure he’d ever get a chance to find that. I’m glad.”

Jamie laughed before he could help himself. “You’re awfully nice about someone who basically murdered you.”

“That’s whatIsaid,” Jay chimed in, reaching a hand out to a small barrel cactus he’d found in the corner of Jamie’s yard.

“Jay, honey,” Danny called out. “Don’t touch the cactus.”

“Don’t worry, I know it’s sharp.” The little vampire reached out a finger anyway, touching one of the spines of the desert plant. “Ouch,” he said happily, holding up his finger to display the small drop of blood welling there. “See? Sharp.”

“That’s great, sweetie.” Danny rolled his eyes, somehow making the gesture look fond and indulgent rather than mocking, before he turned his attention back to Jamie. He patted the spot next to him on the stairs, and Jamie sat down warily beside him.

“I just can’t bring myself to hate Luc,” Danny said after a few more moments of watching Jay roam the yard. “I honestly can’t imagine what those two have lived through. Hundreds of years of existence, not knowing the first thing about the how or why of what they are. If I’d been turned without Roman to ground me, abandoned by my family, led to believe I was a monster…” He shrugged. “Would I have been any better?”

Jamie had a feeling he would have been. That Danny would never hurt another soul so callously as Jamie’s mate had over the years. But he didn’t really want to mess with this easy acceptance of Luc’s flaws Danny had going on, so he didn’t voice that suspicion out loud.

“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Danny leaned in, a conspiratorial look on his face. “I don’t think Roman’s morals are really all that much better than Luc’s. He didn’t care any more about humanity than Luc did when I met him, I think. He was just so afraid of losing control that he forced himself to be a little less…unhinged about it.”

Again, Jamie wasn’t 100 percent sure of that assessment. But he figured Danny knew his own mate better than he did.

They sat for a while in the warm night air, content with a comfortable silence. Jamie felt a new lightness—a release of tension he hadn’t even known he’d been holding—after Danny’s discussion of his change. Luc could turn him, could solidify their bond, and Jamie could stay in Tucson. He didn’t have to leave his family right away. He didn’t have to hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it.

“Should we go back in?” he asked after some more time had passed.

Danny shot an assessing glance back to the house. “Maybe give them a little more time to chat.”

“Why did you really come here?” Jamie asked, giving voice to a suspicion that had been growing inside him. “Did you really think there was a human in need of rescue, just because Luc was asking about your transition?”

Danny laughed softly before shooting him a mischievous look. “Did you know the average adult friendship lasts seven years? Such a short amount of time. Those two were companions forhundredsof years.” He looked to the house again. “I don’t think it’s as much of a lost cause as they like to pretend.”

Jamie was starting to like this newbie vampire a whole hell of a lot. “You don’t think the multiple attempts at murder are an insurmountable obstacle?”

Danny shrugged. “We’re vampires, Jamie. We can pretend we’re still human to fit into society. We can definitely hold on to our values and try to do as little damage to the world around us as possible. But we’re different creatures, ruled by different instincts. We’re not held to the same standards, in some ways. Isn’t that right, Jay?”

Jay turned to face them, crouched down in the dirt. “You can’t have eternal life—even theprospectof eternal life—without being forever changed by it. The concept of mortality is what gives life so much of its meaning. What are we when we take that away?”

Jamie was aware he was now staring at the little vampire, slack-jawed. But damn, that wasn’t what he’d been expecting to come out of his mouth. “You’ve got hidden depths, don’t you, little dude?”

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