Page 38 of Resisting the Running Back

“I RSVPed for one long before all this happened,” I say.

“If you’re doing the VIP experiences, I’m sure they’d be happy to amend that. Cass will be there and would love nothing more than to hear more embarrassing stories about me from high school,” he says.

I laugh. “Well, Sophie has plenty of those.”

“And I know you when you’re around her, man. You seem…” He tilts his head as he trails off, and he squints at me a little. “I don’t know. Happier.”

“Iamhappier when she’s around.”

“I know. So are you finally going to tell her how you feel?” he asks.

I shake my head. “Fuck no. I’m not about to ruin the best thing in my life.”

“Your friendship?” he guesses.

I nod.

“But if you’re this happy just because she’s around, imagine if there was more. Imagine if she felt the same way,” he says.

“Look, I know you want everyone to be as crazy in love as you are, and that’s cool. But maybe it’s not meant for everyone.” I don’t believe the words as they come out of my mouth. I firmly believe that everyone deserves love.

I keep thinking eventually I’ll get over these feelings for Sophie. I’ve tried. I’ve dated women. I’ve tried to fall in love. I even got close once or twice, but ultimately if they couldn’t stand beside her on the pedestal she’s up on in my heart, then I knew it wasn’t right.

And nobody has ever even come close to standing beside her.

“Shoot your shot or move the fuck on,” Tanner says. He sets a barbell back into the rack.

“It’s not that simple.”

He sighs. “I know it’s not. I just hate seeing you stuck in neutral when you’ve been there for half your life, man.”

“I’ve tried to get over her, and I can’t.” My voice is flat as I take a seat on a weight bench.

Tanner comes and sits beside me, and he bumps my shoulder with his. “I know you have, bro. But don’t you think she’d be worth the risk?”

“Not at the expense of our friendship.” I shrug.

“Dude, I’ve had some good friends in my life, but none I wouldn’t give up for Cassie.”

“So what if I take the shot and lose her forever?” I ask, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of me at a poster with Wayne Gretzky’s famous quote:You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. “What if I fuck up our friendship and have to live with the regret when I could’ve just kept my mouth shut?” I nod at the poster. “What if I take the shot and fail anyway?”

“What if you don’t?” he asks gently.

His question is ambiguous. I don’t know if he means if I don’t take the shot or if I don’t fail.

If I don’t take the shot, I’ll never know the answer. But if I take the shot and don’t fail…well, then I could have everything I’ve ever wanted.

I blow out a breath. “Fine. I’ll ask if she wants to go to the SDSYS thing with me.”

Tanner grins as he elbows me. “It’s a start.”

I guess it is.

When I get home, Sophie is typing aggressively on her keyboard as I walk into the kitchen.

“Damn, what did that thing do to you?” I ask, and she practically jumps out of her chair as her hand flies to her chest.

“Oh my God, you scared the shit out of me!” she says, and I chuckle.

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