Page 73 of Dissent

I threw my hands up and then kept pacing. “Yeah, well, what the hell is that, anyway?”

“I told you already. It’s like a hearing. You’ll have to explain to her and the rest of the Review Board why you broke command. After that, they decide what your punishment will be.”

I felt like tearing my hair out as I ran my fingers through it. “This is insane…”

“Look, it’s going to be fine. Wes is recovering really well, so that’s a point in your corner.”

It was true, although he had lost a lot of blood, Dr. Jones was able to remove the bullet in his shoulder, stitch him up, and give him blood transfusions in time. According to Edith, those first twenty-four hours had been a little hairy, but by the second day, he was back to being the same moody Northerner everyone knew him to be. The doctor reported he would make a full recovery and would be back in the field in no time.

I paused my pacing and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. There was one question I asked Edith every night, and tonight would be no different. “Any word on Chelsea?”

Her eyes darkened as a somber look crossed her face. She looked down at her hands, her fingers fiddling with the laces of her boots. “No. No one on the inside has heard anything either.”

The deep-seated feeling of guilt that had been growing inside of me surged, gripping my heart and threatening to burst it open. It didn’t matter what anyone said to me. It was my fault Chelsea was gone. She took the blow that was intended for me. If I hadn’t been there, she’d be here, safe—alive. Although Edith was trying to remain positive, I could tell by the way she discussed the topic that her hope was dwindling. She was beginning to believe the same thing I did.

Chelsea was definitely dead.

Edith must have realized that my brain was traveling into that dark hole—the private little hell I had created for myself. My own portable basement to enslave myself in and torture my soul like I knew I deserved. So, she did what Edith did best—riled me up.

“Matias keeps asking about you.”

I stopped pacing and looked at her, the guilt subsiding as another emotion rose. “Really?”

She smiled then, a playful grin stretching from ear to ear. “Uh huh,” she drawled. “You’ll have to teach me your tricks, girl, because you’ve got that boy whimpering like a love-sick puppy.”

My cheeks reddened. “Stop it.” I waved her off, walking to my cot and plopping myself on it. “He doesn’t visit.”

Edith rolled her eyes. “I told you already, they won’t let him. They keep that boy working harder than ever. And now that they’ve assigned me as your new security detail, there’s no reason for him to be with you all the time.” She arched a perfectly sculpted brow. “That doesn’t mean he hasn’t tried, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean he doesn’twantto.”

I couldn’t help but smile like an idiot as I flopped backwards onto the cot, staring up at the ceiling as the memory of his lips on mine fluttered across my consciousness. “I miss him.”

“Yeah, well, he definitely misses you, too.”

I turned my head to face her. “Really?”

“Mm-hmm,” she cooed as she puckered her lips and made kissy sounds.

“Stop it,” I laughed as I threw my one and only pillow at her. “Jerk.”

She laughed too. “In all seriousness, though, he really does. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that boy so happy.”

The smile returned to my lips as I basked in the knowledge. Happy…I made him happy. I rolled over on my side, facing Edith, a dorkish smile undoubtedly slapped across my face. And then I remembered something. I reached over for my tab on the chair next to my cot. I’d been poring over it religiously every day, hoping that Matias would message me. I’d sent him what felt like thousands of messages, but every single one returned with an error notification.

According to Edith, they limited who you could contact when you were in confinement, and, apparently for me, that meant cutting me off from the guy that helped me disobey orders. Staring at the tab, I swiped through it to pull up the date. The knowledge brought me a wave of conflicting emotions.

“What’s up?”

Without even thinking about it, the words slipped out of me. “It’s my birthday tomorrow.”

“It is?” Edith’s smile grew, her entire face lighting up. She threw her arms up in the air, “Happy early birthday! Why didn’t you tell me your birthday was coming?” I shrugged. Edith caught my vibe and brought her arms down with a frown. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you excited?”

A halfhearted smile came to my lips, but I couldn’t keep it, and it disappeared as quickly as it came. I flopped onto my back again, staring at the ceiling. “I was supposed to initiate this month.”

“You’re turning eighteen?”

I remained silent for a second, thinking about the number in my head. “I was looking forward to it. It meant freedom for me. From my stepmom. I kept telling myself that once I was eighteen, I could leave and live my life peacefully, never having to worry about the stupid basement or anything else.” Pain surged as a memory of green eyes consumed in flames danced into my mind’s eye.Chase.

“Chase was going to ask you to marry him.”

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