Page 85 of The Bad Boy Rule

I nod against her. “Yeah. The EMT looked her over and said it would be a nasty bruise, but she’ll be okay. I stayed with her for hours after she fell asleep. Lennon, she wouldn’t even press charges. Even after he beat the shit out of me and hit her, she still wouldn’t press charges against him, but I did. I had to do what she couldn’t. To protect her.”

“It’s hard to understand what she’s going through, Saint, I know, but if this has been happening for years, your mother is a victim of abuse, and it’s hard to break that cycle.”

She’s only saying what I already know, but it still feels impossible to wrap my head around.

I just want her to be safe and away from him, and it feels like the only way that will ever happen, her leaving him, is if she’s in a casket. Because she won’t go on her own.

Ice floods through my veins. The thought of losing my mom, to him, even at all, makes my vision dance, black spots dancing behind my eyes, sends my heart plummeting into my stomach.

I suck in a breath, trying to breathe through my nose, trying to ward off the panic attack I can feel starting to tighten my chest.

“I’m here,” she murmurs into my hair. “It’s okay, Saint. It’s going to be okay.”

I focus on her fingers creating circles on my back, her soft movements, on breathing one breath at a time.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

I don’t know if it’s going to be okay, but Lennon gives me hope that it will be. Somehow, someway, it’s going to be okay.

“I walked all the way here. I wasn’t even thinking, I just stormed off,” I finally say, my voice heavy with emotion, low and gruff. “I couldn’t sit there any longer, surrounded by the shit he destroyed. I had to get out. Ma was asleep, so I left her a note on the counter, and then I just took off. I didn’t even know where I was going at first. I just knew that I had to get out of there and try to clear my head, to process what had happened. And then… I just ended up here. I think I was always going to come to you; I just didn’t realize it until I was halfway here. I needed you, Lennon. Fuck… I just needed to see you, to touch you. I knew I’d be okay if I could just get to you.”

I’m shit at words, at emotions, at opening myself up and being vulnerable, and I’m sure she knows that more than anyone, but I’m trying.

Even if it all ends up for nothing, I won’t regret her. I won’t regretthis.

Somewhere along the way, this stopped being about revenge. The feelings that I have for her are confusing and scary as fuck, but I know now they’re not going away. If anything, they get stronger with every moment like this, where she sees me and holds on tighter.

She sees me at my worst, and it doesn’t scare her away.

Lifting my head, I look at her as she whispers, “I won’t let go, Saint. I promise.”

There’s finality in her words, and it hits me directly in the chest.

Swallowing roughly, I nod.

“Will you stay here with me tonight?” she asks, eyes bouncing between mine as she stares down at me.

It’s something I’ve never done before. I’ve never slept over with a girl.

But I’ve also never been this way with anyone before, not like I am with Lennon.

“Yeah. I’m going to need a shower… all of my clothes are still wet.”

Lennon nods. “Of course. I can throw your stuff in the dryer while you’re in the shower. It might be done by the time you get out.”

My balls have started to shrivel up from being in wet pants with the AC at full blast, so I rise to my feet, straightening my spine as I tower over her.

I wish I could somehow express what tonight has meant to me. How thankful I am for her just… being here. Accepting me for what I am. Not judging my fucked-up life.

Words don’t feel like enough. They never do when I’m trying to express how I feel, but I’m going to try anyway. I’m going to try forher.

I grasp her chin between my fingers and dip my head, pressing my lips softly against hers, unhurried and gentle in a way I’ve never been.

Her eyes are hazy when I pull back to look at her. “Thank you.”

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