Page 86 of The Bad Boy Rule

My mind’s racing, a hundred different thoughts at once, things I should say, words stuck in my throat, but that one being the most important. “For all of it. Thank you.”

FORTY

LENNON

I haven’t moved since Saint disappeared into my bathroom, rooted into place on the edge of the mattress, trying to let everything that I’d just learned sink in.

I’m not sure I’m even fully breathing right now.

There’s a physical ache in my chest beneath my rib cage, and I reach up, rubbing at the spot as if it’s going to take that pain away.

It’s nothing, not even in the same realm of the pain and heartache that Saint’s experienced, and that…gutsme.

I’m struggling to keep the tears at bay when I replay his words in my head. He’s been struggling in silence for so long, bearing the weight of this with no one to holdhim.

But that ends here. Because I’m going to be the one who is strong for him when he feels like he has no one else. In whatever capacity that is, whatever label it needs to hold.

It doesn’t even truly matter because I’m going to be here, no matter what.

The bathroom door swings open, and steam billows around Saint as he steps out clad in nothing but one of my pink gingham, laced towels.

Shit. I completely forgot to get up and put his clothes in the dryer.

But also… him wearing that pink towel that’s comically small compared to his massive, broad frame has a giggle floating out of me. I bring my hands to my lips to cover it, but his eyes darken.

“Is this a fucking hand towel, Golden Girl? Christ.” There’s a lighter glint shining in his eyes, and it makes me feel better that maybe our talk and a shower have helped to clear his mind some.

“Nope, you’re just huge.”

Immediately, my cheeks heat when it comes across very differently than I intended, and he smirks. It still doesn’t quite meet his eyes, but it’s a start.

I spring up from my bed and rush over to him, swiping his clothes from his hands. “I’ll just, uh, put this in the dryer, and then you can change once they’re done.”

He nods, holding tightly to the towel.

I quickly get them into the dryer and then walk back into my room, finding Saint standing near the bulletin board on my wall, fingers moving over a photo of Maisie and me from last year.

It was from the winter formal for the Social Club. My dress was a pale blue silk that made me feel like a princess, white faux fur draped over my shoulders, pale pink earrings my parents had gifted me in my ears.

We had so much fun that day, and looking back at it, it’s a stark reminder about how much has changed. How muchI’vechanged.

As much as I thought I loved the person I was then, it’s nothing compared to how proud I am of the girl I am now. Even if I’m still a work in progress.

“Winter formal for the Social Club.” I stop beside him, tilting my head slightly to look at the prop in my hand from the photobooth. “That’s my best friend, Maisie. She’s my roommate too, but she’s with her parents this weekend.”

Saint hums, his attention moving to me. “You look beautiful.”

Heat creeps up my throat at the compliment. I like it. Far too much.

“Thanks,” I say quietly, tucking a long red strand of my hair behind my ear. “I’m actually stepping down from the Social Club.”

“Why?”

“Because I hate it.” My nose scrunches at the admission. It’s the first time I’ve said that out loud to anyone. “I hate the responsibility, the crippling pressure, and the constant need to feel like I have to be this perfect person. I hate the frivolity of all the galas and fundraisers and the opulent show of wealth. In the grand scheme of things, I hate that it feels like all eyes are always on me, for things that don’t even really matter. “

Sighing, I glance back at the bulletin board, my gaze moving over all of the memories. Pictures, tickets, mementos. Some of them are happy memories, but mostly, all I feel is relief that I’m no longer going to have to fill the shoes that my family has stood in before me.

“Quitting is another one of thosetrying to take my life backthings. I actually haven’t even told anyone… but you.”

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