Page 21 of Play Like a Girl

9

Penny

I curled onto my side,wrapping my arm across the pillow, snuggling it to my cheek. It’s a sad substitute for Kenny, but it’s what I have to work with.

It’s been almost two months since we’ve been in the same city and two weeks since we’ve spoken. He’s honored his promise to give me a not-a-break so I can focus on my game. And I have to say that it’s worked...sort of.

Without our daily calls to look forward to, softball is all I have. Since it’s the highlight of my day, I’m hyper-focused when I’m on the field. Unfortunately, I’m miserable every other hour of the day.

Since sleep seems to be eluding me, I picked up the remote and clicked on the TV. After flipping through the stations, I settled onThe 40-Year-Old-Virgin. But even Steve Carrell’s character yelling “Kelly Clarkson” as the wax technician ripped the hair from his chest didn’t make me laugh.

My phone beeped and I cringed when I saw my brother’s name on the screen. I haven’t told him about Kenny and me and hiding my melancholy from him is nearly impossible.

“Hey Dale.”

“How’s my favorite little sister?”

“Good,” I said. “I’m good.”

A weighted silence hovered over the phone line and I cursed under my breath. My brother knows me way too well and knows all my tells. I shouldn’t have added theI’m good.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me, Penelope.”

This isn't something I planned on talking to my brother about. I feel ridiculous as it is and whining to someone who makes juggling a relationship and life on the road look effortless will just make it worse. But I can't lie to him. For one thing, he'll know I'm not telling the truth, but also, I wonder if maybe he’ll be able to help me sort out what I’m feeling. Lord knows I’m not doing a good job of it.

“I’m just having a hard time this year.”

He mostly listened, only asking questions when he wanted something clarified. When I was done, I heard him blow out a breath before he spoke.

“Have you talked to Kenny about this?”

“I did,” I said, then added, “A couple weeks ago.”

“So what have you been doing differently since then?”

When I didn’t answer, he repeated the question.

“I haven’t spoken to him since then.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I told him I thought maybe I’d be able to focus better if we didn’t talk every day.”

“Well that makes sense,” he said more under his breath than to me.

“What makes sense?”

“Hannah said that Kenny has been distracted and short-tempered. I just figured—well, never mind what I thought.”

“Did she say anything else?”

“I don’t know. I mean, she didn’t exactly tell me about Kenny. She said it to Jack and he told me.”

“You guys gossip more than old ladies.”

---