Page 173 of Curvy Girl Summer

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and then he asked, “Do you have feelings for me?”

My automatic instinct was to deny what I felt. Even though I could feel the energy between us being reciprocated, and even though he alluded to his own feelings, it was hard for me to believe he felt something more than a physical connection between us. The sex was exquisite, so I understood the confusion. But the idea of me acknowledging my true feelings, while his feelings were based on how good the sex was, was laughable.

Not going to happen.

I opened my mouth to say no, but the word never formed. Instead, I shook my head.

He stepped into my personal space and searched my eyes. “No?”

Looking away, I clarified, “No.”

He was quiet for a moment. “I’m calling bullshit.” His voice lowered to just above a whisper as he placed his hands on the wall next to my head, caging me between his strong arms. “Look at me and say it.”

I swallowed hard and forced myself to look him in his eyes. I wanted to deny it. The combination of self-preservation and pride was a hell of a drug. I was never one to run away from my feelings. But at the same time, I never invested in lost causes either. In that moment, I couldn’t get my mouth to cooperate.

“It’s bullshit, isn’t it, Aaliyah?” His voice rolled over me likehis touch did the night before, and I shivered. A ghost of a smile played at the corner of his lips. “Because you feel something between us, don’t you?”

My heart drummed in my chest as I tried to bottle up my emotions. With each passing second of his question hanging in the air, I felt everything threatening to erupt out of me. I knew I needed to put some distance between us if I wanted any chance of getting my feelings in check. But I couldn’t move.

Unfettered lust for Ahmad simmered inside of me, just under the surface, waiting to come roaring to the forefront. Overwhelming desire to feel Ahmad’s lips on mine again sent a chill down my spine. I was barely holding it together.

The room was thick with tension. I felt like I was going to suffocate as we stood there staring at one another, breathing each other in. His breaths were coming more rapidly as his face hovered over mine. My eyes dropped to his lips just as his tongue ran from one corner of his mouth to the other.

That was a bad idea.

I shook my head slightly, trying to force my feet to move. I needed to put some distance between us. If I didn’t, I knew I would end up saying too much, doing too much, feeling too much.

“Did you shake your head?” Ahmad brought his face closer, rubbing his nose against mine. “Haven’t we been through this? Why are you lying to me, Aaliyah?”

My lips parted as I felt his breath on my face.

“Do you know how I know you feel something between us?” he murmured, taking my breath away. He waited, stretching the already tense moment out. “I know you have feelings for me because I could taste it.”

I sucked in a sharp breath.

“I could taste it in your kiss,” he breathed, brushing his lips against mine. “I could taste it when you came on my face.”

I squeezed my thighs together and pressed my back against the wall. “Ahmad.”

“I can hear it in the way you say my name,” he continued. “I cansee it in your eyes. But I knew for a fact when I felt the way you came on my dick.”

“I don’t…” My attempt at denying it was failing me as my feelings started to overtake me.

“You don’t what?” he challenged.

My lips parted, and short, shaky breaths escaped. I couldn’t answer him. I couldn’t do anything. It was taking more and more effort to restrain myself.

“We don’t want the same thing,” I said finally.

“What is it that you want?” he asked.

“I want the real thing.”

“And you don’t think I want something real?”

“I don’t think you want something realwith me,” I choked out in barely a whisper.

Ahmad roughly forced me to look him in his eyes and pinned me with his body. “Something real with you is the only thing I want.”

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