Page 148 of Stutter

Every hair on my body stands on end, the air in the room zeroing in on me like a pressure so dense that it makes my ears aware of every inhale and exhale of my lungs and every slow beat of my heart.

There.

I tilt my head, looking straight ahead at the last Monroe family portrait painted… without me.

It’s a soft click, the kind you’d never even hear over your own breathing, but I’ve become so hyper-aware of this entity for the last twelve years of my life.

“Come out…. Come out… wherever you are…” I sing in a hoarse whisper.

Three heartbeats pass… four…

One softthudof a boot.

The other.

I’m sure I look unhinged, blood on my hands and parts of my face, but as I turn, rising to my feet. I make sure to take him in, dragging my eyes from the same dirty boots he wore while in the corner of that fucking basement Prescott had me in, watching over me while I was drugged, his denim jeans, black thermal long-sleeve shirt covering arms that held me while I slept, up his pouty lips that spewed comforting words, roman nose and landing on those chameleon eyes. Eyes that watched over me during some of my darkest times.

Even in the shadows.

My breath hitches in my throat as I stare Axel down.

He shoves his hands in his pockets, as he keeps slowly striding toward me. “You found me.”

The hilt of the blade in my hand, while already warm from his father’s blood grows hotter in my hand.

I only have one word.

One question.

“Why?”

Chapter Thirty-Six

Shadow/Axel Monroe.

I fell in love with Raven Alvarez-Paloma the second she walked into the Monroe mansion.

She trailed behind Sofia, who was a vision in white, a contrast to her reluctant daughter dressed in a dark navy dress with a skinny black belt on her tiny waist. Dark hair in long pigtails, big, brown eyes, and sooty lashes. She looked like a Latin version of Wednesday Addams. She didn’t have braces yet, so her teeth were a little too big for her mouth but to me, she was perfect.

“Son, say hello to Raven. Your soon-to-be sister.”

“Stepsister.” She said proudly, uncrossing her arms and looking around the mansion.

I took a hit of my inhaler, holding my breath, letting the albuterol do its job then slowly letting my breath go, shoving the thing in my trouser pocket and holding out my hand. “Hey, I’m Axel.”

“Like Rose?”

I looked at her quizzically because “Who is Axel Rose?”

Her mouth pops open and then she smirks. “I’m about to make yousocool.”

________

I was born with weak lungs. Prone to fits of bronchitis, pneumonia, and asthma attacks so I wasn’t allowed to play outside often. But with Raven, I wanted to keep up. She was a month older than me, (August 26th) to the day. She brazen and wild and she loved screechy rock bands and laughed all the time. If she wasn’t outside exploring the grounds and woods behind the manor, she was in the attic or the basement, making up games, sliding down the banister, cackling, and driving the maids crazy.

We were ten the day our parents married. She took my hand, and we put our ballroom dancing lessons to use by making me dance with her. “I guess we’re officially siblings now,” she said, almost bored to tears.

But I wasn’t. She was in my arms in a cute little pink dress mom made her wear. The entire wedding was lavish and ostentatious, gold glittered everywhere amongst the whites and pale pinks and honestly, it kind of made my eyes hurt. I twirled her, setting us up for another turn, keeping up with the music and she giggled, flashing her invisible braces when I dipped her, placing a kiss on her cheek. “I’m so glad you’re my sister.”

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