Startled, I let the magazine slip through my fingers. “Hey yourself. Come sit. I want to hear all about your Christmas.”
Will joined me on the couch. “It was fine, Sid. As you can imagine, we did a lot of singing.” This time, his eyes did twinkle when he smiled.
“How’d you do?” I had no idea if Will could sing, but I assumed Perry was better.
Will chuckled. “I got an F for sound quality, but an A plus for technique.”
“I can vouch for your technique, if you know what I mean,” I teased, nudging him playfully on his upper thigh to lessen the tension in the air.
“Funny,” he said, sliding an inch away from me. “Anyway, there’s not much to tell. I’m sure your holiday was more eventful.”
Sucking on air, I said, “What do you mean?”
“With Perry,” he said, practically choking on Perry’s name. “How’d it go?”
I answered, “It was fine. Why?” and immediately regretted it. I sounded paranoid. If I asked about his holiday, of course he’d reciprocate. Composing myself, I added, “As threatened, Perry entertained everyone from my ancient aunts and uncles to business colleagues of my dad’s. In fact, he might have snagged an agent.”
“Is that right?” Will sneered before mumbling, “I guess it will soften the blow.”
I frowned. “What blow?”
“Never mind.” Will stood up again.
“Need to use the bathroom again already?” I joked, even though I was more exasperated than humored at this point. The guilt was chewing on my insides, and I desperately needed to ’fess up and accept Will’s reaction, whatever it would be.
“Just restless. I was sitting in a car all afternoon.” He stretched his arms over his head and then glanced behind him as if expecting someone.
I raised myself from the couch and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Is something wrong?” I wasn’t paranoid—Will was acting strange.
“Not at all.” He sat back down. “What else did Perry the Great accomplish this weekend? Did he get stuck in an elevator with Steven Spielberg? Or Al Roker?”
My head reared back. “Considering neither of those people were there and my parents don’t have an elevator, the answer is no. You’re being weird.” When Will looked at me with regret in his eyes, my heart hammered against my chest. If I didn’t have so much confidence in Will’s sense of values, I’d think he had his own confession to make. Desperate for comfort, I took a big gulp of wine.
Will scratched his head. “Maybe I am, but I just spent three nights pretending to be someone else’s boyfriend and lying to a lot of people. Under the circumstances, I think I’m handling it well. Evidently, not as well as you.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m handling it well either.” My hands trembled. I put down my glass before it crashed onto the floor.
He furrowed his brow. “You’re not?”
“There’s something I need to tell you.” I swallowed back the pain in the back of my throat. “It’s about Perry and me.”
He frowned. “What about you?”
I couldn’t face him when I made my confession so I closed my eyes. I wished I could cover his eyes so he couldn’t see me either. “We hated each other from day one and fought like opposing counsel in an intense trial the entire time. And then…” I felt like I was perched to jump out of an airplane, paralyzed to hurl myself over the edge.
“Thenwhat, Sidney?”
“When I’d say ‘yes,’ he’d say ‘no.’ If I went left, he’d go right. If I claimed the sky was blue, he’d insist it was purple. He knew how to rattle my cage, and I walked right into it. To make matters worse, my parents loved him and he ate it up. It came to a head, we had a bitter confrontation, and before I knew it, we were kissing.” I opened my eyes and faced Will, who was staring at me in shock. “But it was inspired by hate, not attraction. I’m so sorry, Will. It meant nothing and I swear to God, we didn’t have sex.” I cringed in anticipation of his reaction.
Will blinked at me. “You cheated on me with Perry?” He stood up and paced the room.
I rose too. “It was only a kiss. I could have kept it a secret, but I didn’t want to lie to you. I don’t want it to be the end for us, and I hope coming clean shows you I’m committed to giving us a go. We’re so good together.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what to say to this.”
“Can you forgive me?” I held my breath and stared at the twitching vein in his neck.
He turned his back on me, not saying anything.