Page 61 of The Boyfriend Swap

I searched my mind for words, but my brain was incapable of presenting a further defense. I swallowed back the thickness in my throat and hunched my shoulders in defeat.

After what felt like forever squared, he sat back down. The twitch was gone. He patted the spot next to him. “Sit.”

It was a positive sign that he didn’t storm out of my apartment, slamming the door behind him, and I joined him on the couch with cautious hope.

He took a sip of wine and placed it back on the coffee table. “I thought the swap was a bad idea from minute one. We were playing with fire, but I agreed because it was so important to you and I wanted to make you happy.”

“You were great, Will. I can’t begin to—”

“Let me finish, Sid,” he said in a soft voice.

I nodded and placed my fingers over my racing pulse, willing it to slow down.

Will absently tapped his foot against the surface of the wood floor. “Over the last few days, I’ve thought about it from your perspective and the conclusion I’ve reached is if you truly cared about me, you wouldn’t have so easily and eagerly put me in the position you did.”

My heart jumped into my throat. “I thought I was doing it for us. My parents…” I searched for my next words in the high ceiling. “We were having so much fun, and I was afraid introducing you to them would be the beginning of the end.” I contemplated going into further detail, but the theory that made so much sense mere weeks before suddenly seemed dumb as dirt.

Will sighed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but it honestly doesn’t matter. If you were truly invested in our relationship, you wouldn’t let your parents get in our way. But you did, and on top of it, you crossed the line with Perry.”

Placing my hand on his thigh, I said, “You have my sincere remorse. I can admit when I’m wrong, even though I hate it.” I released a nervous laugh. “I want to make it up to you—introduce you to my parents even.” I licked my dry lips. “Unless the kiss is a deal breaker.”

He smiled at the floor as if he shared a secret with the hardwood tiles. “It’s interesting that Robyn’s folks disliked Perry, but your mom and dad took to him so intensely. Maybe our parents know something we don’t about who’s right for us.” He scraped a hand through his hair and looked back up at me. “If so, I don’t think your parents would have liked me, Sid.” With a pained expression, he continued, “Because kiss or no kiss, I already had my doubts as to whether we belonged together. The truth is, I think we can both do better.”

Robyn

After dropping off the rental car, I cabbed it home and changed out of my heavy sweater and jeans into a t-shirt and my coziest pair of pajama pants—navy blue and emblazoned with images of different breeds of dogs from poodles, pugs, beagles, and more. I allowed myself a brief stint of self-pity, choosing to spend it with a mug of hot chocolate piled high with mini marshmallows and staring out the window and down at the Hudson River and New Jersey on the other side of the water. I’d save the bottle of wine for when Anne Marie got home from her own holiday later that afternoon.

My shared living space with Anne Marie on Manhattan’s Upper West Side might not have been exceptional in terms of square footage, but the view from our apartment on the twenty-seventh floor made up for it. The sky at sunset was streaked in various shades of blue, pink, orange, and yellow. It was breathtaking, and I would have been happy to spend the entirety of the evening not moving if my mind didn’t keep dreaming up images of Will reflected along the surface of the water. I half expected to see his shadow hovering over me, hear the sound of his laughter, or feel the flutter of my heart from his nearness, but I didn’t. There was no reason to think I ever would again. It was like a repeat of the summer before my senior year of high school—watching Will move out of his parents’ house for college and wondering when, if ever, I’d see him again. But unlike in high school, when the most attention Will gave me was a smile in passing in the hallways or a few words of conversation at a social event, this time, we’d been inseparable for almost a hundred hours. We’d slept together. Sure, our PG-rated slumber party was more Disney Channel than Skinamax, but it didn’t make the proximity of our bodies clad in only thin shorts and t-shirts any less real. And the accidental spooning session was etched in my memory.

I knew I was being stupid moping over a guy who wasn’t mine to begin with. Will and I weren’t even compatible. I wasn’t a sharp, sexy redhead, and he wore a suit to work on a regular basis. Once my pity party came to an end, I’d leave the memories of my brief stint as Will Brady’s “girlfriend” behind and life would resume as normal. I’d survived my unrequited crush in high school and gone on to date many guys—nice, good-looking, fun, and talented guys. And even though my time with Perry was coming to an end, I knew it wouldn’t be long before I found myself interested in someone else—someone equally enamored with me and hopefully in touch with his creative side. No more lawyers. The only way I’d date a lawyer was if he were…Will. I sighed dejectedly and glanced at my watch. Perry would be here any minute.

Moments later, there was a gentle rap at my door. “It’s me. I ran into Anne Marie in the lobby,” Perry called out from the hallway.

“Come in,” I said, lifting myself to a standing position and placing my empty mug on the dresser. I resisted the urge to bite my nails.

Upon entering my room, Perry pulled me into a hug. “There’s my girl.”

I inhaled the faint scent of citrus from his Acqua Di Gio cologne and frowned into his chest. I wished he wasn’t so happy to see me. It made what I had to do so much harder. But I had to rip off the bandage. Perry was better off without me at this point.

“Welcome home,” he mumbled into the top of my head.

“Back at you,” I said. When we separated, I was surprised by the genuine smile that appeared on my face. We’d had a good run, and I had no regrets.

“It’s good to be back in the city where not everyone is a rich white person.”

I laughed. “I take it Scarsdale isn’t much of a melting pot?”

He shook his head and sat on the edge of my bed. “How was the city of Brotherly Love?”

“Philadelphia was fine.” I dropped my gaze to the floor before reluctantly meeting his eyes and letting out a deep exhalation. “We need to talk, Perry.”

His face fell. “You know already?”

I jutted my head back. “Know what?”

“About me and Sidney.”

“What about you and Sidney?” My heart beat rapidly in anticipation of his next words.

---