“Yes, Pumpkin, and I support you in your quest to calm down the chaos in your head.”
I roll my eyes. “Grammy, would you rather I find another way to help me cope with that?”
“It would be nice if you gave yourself permission to be free and happy, which is why I’m so happy that you left Westbrook Blues.”
“You’re happy?” I mutter, as a tight squeeze captures my heart. “I thought you’d miss me.”
“You already know I miss you, baby girl. But I also know this town has been a pain for you. Great expectations sometimes have…”
“Great disappointment, yes, I remember.”
We fall silent for a bit.
Grammy always knew about my complicated feelings for a forbidden boy… but I guess she somehow knew that I’ve always been delusional.
So much so that I stuck around in the hopes that I’d be noticed.
How pathetic she must’ve thought I was.
“Okay, okay, so how do you like the big city? Have you already visited the school yet?”
Ah fuck…another wave of guilt.
“Um, not yet. I plan on going tomorrow. Today I just wanted to get settled.”
“Oh, and that friend of yours, will you meet up with him?”
“A friend of mine? Who are you talking about?”
“Kimberly said there’s a boy somewhere in the mix. A boy that your brother should look into, she said.”
Kimberly, that beautiful snitch! I liked her better when she was in her mind-her-damn-business era.
I make a mental note to text her a perfectly worded cursing out.
“There’s no need to include Samuel in this Grammy. Jackson is a friend I met online. You know many people have strong friendships and bonds with people they meet online. In Facebook groups. TikTok comments… didn’t you say you found your community of church-loving ladies online?”
“Yes, but this is a strange boy,” Grammy says, not budging one bit. If there’s one thing about Grammy, she’s persistent.
“You’re right. He might be strange, or he might be just what I need. Ever thought of that?”
She pauses. “When you put it that way…”
“You know I’m right! You did tell me when I left that I have to give life a chance. This is what I’m doing now. Giving it a huge swing.”
In more ways than just one, too.
I lied to Grammy that I stopped looking for my mother and my father.
I have secrets that might put my family in danger as well.
But when I said I’m over the past, over unrequited, messed-up crushes and over Westbrook Blues, I meant that.
“Well, if you ask me, it’s about time,” Grammy says.
“For what?”
“For that hope in your voice,” she says softly. “I mean, I’ve heard it before, but not with this much conviction.”