Page 31 of Turret

I couldn’t speak, I could scarcely even think through my shock and despair. Pain filled my heart as it broke—not for myself, but forhim. To think that for years he’d lived with the fear of potentially losing his sight, only for it to slowly become his reality, robbing him not only of it but of his purpose and the future he desired.

“Is there truly no way to break it?” I asked. “Maybe there’s a cure—”

His hollow laugh cut off my words. “My family has spent four generations searching for one to no avail. Once my great-grandfather, grandmother, and father lost their sight, it never returned, and I’m under no illusion I’ll be the exception.”

This news only escalated my despair, causing it to press against my chest so heavily I could scarcely breathe. I took several steadying breaths, fighting to maintain a sliver of calm. “How much sight have you lost?”

“Nearly all of it.”

My heart flared. “That can’t be true.” It was too much to think that Quinn—my dear, kind, loyal, sweet guard—was so close to seeingnothing…no, I couldn’t bear the horrible thought. “You can see me now, I know you can.”

His look became less wistful and more tender. “The curse’s mercy has allowed me to still see you quite well. Though everything else is fading, you are still quite clear. But I have no doubt the progression will soon take even you away from me; already you’re becoming fuzzy when we’re not this close. But if you can at least be the last thing I see…I can be content.”

His resignation only caused my panic to rise. No, this couldn’t be true. But even if it was, it changed nothing. I couldn’t bear for even something as tragic as this to keep us apart.

“I still love you, Quinn. I’d rather have you with your curse than not at all.”

He gently wiped the tears that had appeared on my cheek with his thumb. “You don’t know what you’re asking. I care far too much to force you to endure any kind of pain just to satisfy my selfish need for you. For I love you too, Gemma. I always have, and because I always will I could never force you to endure this for me.”

Warmth encased my heart at his beautiful words, ones I’d longed to hear from him ever since discovering my true feelings. “You love me?” I managed breathlessly.

His eyes shone with the sincerity of his feelings. “I’ve always loved you. When you confessed your own feelings for me, I wanted nothing more than to return them, but I knew doing so would make it far more difficult to do the right thing and let you go.”

“But you don’t have to,” I said desperately. “Please, Quinn.”

He shook his head, crushing my hope before it could even take root. “How can I even entertain the notion of our being together? It’s what led me to convince you of my indifference even though nothing could be further from the truth. You have no idea how torturous it was to reject you and to see your resulting pain, knowing I was the cause. Only now do I realize it was unfair of me to make that choice on your behalf without telling you everything. If you had to shoulder a burden, I’d rather you carry the knowledge of my impending blindness than falsely believe I don’t care for you the way I do.”

“You claim that telling me the truth was to grant me the choice. If I still choose you despite knowing everything, would you really deny me?”

Hope shone in his eyes. “If I’m truly who you want, despite everything…” He sighed. “But Gemma, you must consider this carefully. Please don’t force yourself to settle for me. One day you’ll be free from this prison and will have your pick of any man you choose; if that man is me, you must be certain you want a life partner who will forever be blind, that you’ll be able to bear watching it one day claim one of the children—”

My breath caught and I finally fully understood every aspect of my future should I choose him: of living my life with my sight while my husband remained trapped in darkness, one in which there was no hope of escape; of wondering which of my children—if despite my frequent illnesses I should be blessed to have any—would suffer the same fate and watch them endure the same heartache Quinn was experiencing now. Could I willingly choose such a path?

I didn’t even need to consider my answer, for I’d already made my decision. Just as Quinn had willingly chosen to enter this prison with me, I would go anywhere with him. “It’s impossible to know what the future holds. One thing is certain: I want you in it, no matter the cost. I choose you, Quinn. If I ever leave this tower, it will only be with you at my side.”

Though joy lit his eyes, he remained wary. “But we likely have no future together, not even one where we continue in the manner we are now. Because of my curse, the moment we leave I can no longer be your guard.” His expression clouded. “I’ve been a guard for so long…I’m not sure I can be anything else. What will my purpose be?”

“I’m certain you’ll find one,” I murmured.

He didn’t respond, nor did he look at me, his gaze fixated on the window without seeming to even be noticing the view. I took in the somber lines filling his expression. Though the outside world offered him nothing, he remained unwavering in his desires to help me escape the tower. Such a selfless sacrifice wrenched my heart even as it deepened my love for him.

It was a struggle to speak past the tears clogging my throat. “Whether you’re my guard or not, you’ll always have a future with me. Please, Quinn.”

His gaze slowly returned to mine. “You’d really want—”

“Yes, Quinn. Always.”

He sighed. “While I desire you to have something better than I have to offer you, I cannot take away your choice, nor am I selfless enough not to accept you should I be the one you choose. But Gemma”—he leaned closer, his look intense—”such a decision cannot be made in haste. You must be certain. Please, grant me time. I need that for you.”

I ached to protest, for I knew my decision would remain unchanging. But I knew how much Quinn needed this. If time was what he required to allow us to be together, then I would give it to him.

The bright future I longed for was within reach, meaning my earlier bravery in sharing my heart hadn’t been in vain. If I’d had the courage to take the first step in claiming it, surely I’d be brave enough to accept all that came with it, and though it was far different than what I’d expected my future with Quinn to entail, if he was with me I had no doubt it’d be worth the cost.

Chapter 12

No matter my sincere desires, Quinn was relentlessly stubborn, refusing to look at me, no matter how many times I attempted to get his attention, which was remarkably lacking considering his position was to keep an eye on me. It was more difficult to endure his distance considering the changes occurring with the tower—another pantry of supplies had vanished, leaving only one left. Melina had spent hours this afternoon sorting through what remained and was still in the kitchen occupied with the task.

I sat curled up in the parlor window seat with my embroidery, but needlework was the furthest thing from my mind. Instead I watched Quinn. At first my stolen glances had been hesitant and subtle, even shy, but my escalating frustration soon made me more overt.

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