Page 23 of Grown Folks Confessions: Black Lush

Leaning against the rental, I groaned into the sky. “So damn much I can’t even focus sometimes. Only reason I argue with him so much is to keep myself from jumping on his dick.”

Meeka wiggled her eyebrows. “I love my man, but those damn Hood brothers with all those tattoos and Greek names and they juicy ass lips with the way they be staring right at you when you talk. Whew, girl, those Hoods are a whole vibe and you’ve had one of them wanting you forever.”

“I don’t just want sex from Ares,” I clarified.

“And he doesn’t just want sex from you,” she said. “At least not from where I’m standing. I’m not sure what life was like when you both lived in Detroit, but since he’s moved to Chicago, he’s been all about you since I met him. And, sis, you’re married now. Accident or not, until you get it annulled, you and Ares can fuck all you want without worrying about what people think.”

I shook my head. “No, if we cross that line, there’s no turning back.”

Meeka squeezed my hand. “La, you’ve already crossed that line. Hell, I think you both crossed it way before today. Just because you weren’t fucking around didn’t mean emotionally, you both haven’t been holding each other hostage for years, neither allowing anyone else to get close enough to your heart. Don’t let mistakes that your parents made make you feel like you can’t fuck up at times, because we all do.”

“But this is a pretty bad fuck up.”

Meeka scrunched her face. “Wellll, let’s just say it’s not the best way to go about things, but you talkin’ to the queen of fuckin’ shit up. So I’d say as my best friend, it makes perfect sense that you are now headed to face the music with your biggest idol after losing a hundred thousand dollars in an investment and marrying the man you’ve secretly loved for most your life.”

I pinched Meeka, causing her to squeal. “You suck at pep talks.”

“Okay, how about this …” Meeka cleared her throat. “Roses are red. Pussy is meant to get wet. Make this time with him something you both won’t forget. You’ve spent years dodging the dick, so you know I gotta shout … BITCH, YOU BETTA CLEAN THOSE COBWEBS AND LET HIM BLOW YOUR BACK OUT!”

“Meeka!” I screeched, glancing at the group of girlfriends who’d just passed us and heard her loud ass. “Can you not blast my business across the whole damn Nevada?”

She laughed, waving me off. “Friend, I wasn’t blasting it for strangers to hear me.” She pointed behind me. “My words were for one person and one person only.”

I glanced behind me and immediately turned back around when I noticed an intrigued Ares walking back to the car. “Ohmygod, I can’t believe you yelled that mess with him right there! Please act your age, Meek!”

“Fuck that, I’ll be twenty-one forever.” She shrugged. “Plus, I have your best interests at heart, and if you’re too scared to make a move, I have a feeling he isn’t.”

Crap.I could call Meeka on her shit all I wanted, but it all boiled down to the fact that despite all the problems I still had to work out, Iwantedall of what she was rhyming to happen.

“Ready to go?” Ares asked after placing the snacks in the back seat.

“Mhmm.” My nod was quick and awkward. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“Good luck,” Meeka encouraged. “If anyone can explain why she was in Vegas with her husband over being at the retreat, it’s you, La. You got this, girl!”

I smiled, not confident, but hoping she was right.

* * *

Meeka was wrong.I definitely didn’t have this.

“Well,” Nevaeh said, motioning for her assistant to take notes. “Why was it more important for you to make out on the Vegas strip than be here for the first day of the retreat?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my mind was blank. All the excuses I came up with on the ride to Phoenix seemed to have left my mind, leaving only one response to her question.

“Honestly, you’re not going to like the reason, but it all starts with the fact that I want this opportunity so badly, I asked my best guy friend if he would pretend to be my husband on this retreat.” I took a deep breath and tried to slow my speech, but ended up talking faster.

“We decided to spend the day before we got to Phoenix in Vegas and I guess we had too much to drink because a couple mornings ago I woke up married with no idea how we ended up tying the knot nor do either of us remember kissing in front of that fountain.” I took a quick pause in my run-on rant before adding that, “Now… I’m pretty sure all our friends know about us faking our relationship and I’m also pretty sure I may love him for real which complicates our sham of a marriage, not to mention this amazing opportunity that I’m so grateful for.”

When I finished, I was breathing heavy and remembered that I never said, “I’m so sorry for lying about my relationship status and I understand if you don’t want me to continue with the competition. I just wanted to apologize in person and to tell you that I took this opportunity very seriously and appreciate the consideration for the investment.”

Leaning back in her grand desk chair, not a hair out of place in her long, straight hairstyle, and her high cheekbones and flawless, deep brown skin was the only distraction I had from the silence in the room. Rumor had it, she’d landed a starring role in an upcoming Black drama, and sitting across from her, all I could think of wasgoals.

“Why did you become a designer, Layla?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“I’ve always wanted to be a designer,” I answered, noting the slightly disappointed look in her eyes.

“Is that all?” she asked.

---