Page 24 of Grown Folks Confessions: Black Lush

I slightly cleared my throat. “No, that’s not all. An internship back in high school sealed the deal for me, but I’d honestly known much earlier than that. I grew up watching you on HGTV and other home network shows and you were a huge inspiration, but probably the biggest reason I fell in love with interior design was because through decorating, I was able to create the life I wanted.”

“Hmm,” she muttered, remaining quiet, but giving a look that implied I should continue.

I rarely talked about my family situation, but surprisingly, it wasn’t hard confiding in Nevaeh. “It wasn’t easy having my mom leave when I was young and having a dad who was more present when he was drinking than when he was sober. Yet, it was my life so I was used to it. However, I never felt a real sense of home, and because of that, I fell in love with building my own home. Obviously, I couldn’t afford much, but turning a plain room into something beautiful felt like magic, and I was hooked onto that feeling. I knew that my calling was to dedicate my life to making others feel that same sense of magic.”

I’d managed to hold back my emotions, but my eyes were watery, and I was sure Nevaeh and her assistant could tell. It had been years since I’d thought about why I loved interior design so much, but it felt good to remember why I’d chosen this career.

“I didn’t have an easy life growing up either,” Nevaeh revealed. “Anytime you’re passionate about what you do and pursue your dreams without hesitation, I think there is a beauty in your development as a person.” She studied me some more before continuing. “I don’t like that you lied, and typically, I would kick someone out of the competition for missing a day of the retreat, but under the circumstances, I’m willing to make an exception.”

“Thank you,” I told her, breathing a sigh of relief and ready to jump for joy in my seat.

“Don’t thank me yet. For the remainder of the retreat, I’ll be watching you closely. My advice to you is to make the most out of this time and soak in all you can from the industry professionals presenting and dropping knowledge. Layla, I think you can go far in this industry, but you won’t get there if you aren’t being true to yourself.”

“I understand, and I really do apologize for lying about my relationship with Ares.”

“Right, you and your young man.” She squinted her eyes at me. “Another piece of advice if I may.”

I nodded.

“The videos and photos you sent for the assignments I gave the finalists were some of the best I’ve seen since doing this competition. And pictures don’t lie. I felt the love between you both, and whether you married by accident or not, I think the lesson to be learned is in figuring out what’s next and opening your heart if that’s who you choose to let in.”

I exhaled the breath I was holding. “I understand. I’m still figuring that out, too … because throughout our friendship, we’ve spent more time arguing than getting along.”

“Hmm, interesting,” she remarked. “Well, dinner at the best winery outside of Scottsdale is soon and I suggest you come prepared to meet the others in the competition and play catch up.”

“Okay, thank you again.” I all but skipped to the door, ready to let out a squeal of excitement when I spotted a sheepish looking Ares in the hallway.

“Sorry for eavesdropping,” he replied. “I told the lady at the front desk that I had to use the restroom and I heard your voice through the crack of the door, so I couldn’t help but listen.” He gently grabbed my hand. “You never told me that’s why you got into interior design.”

I lifted my shoulders. “I never really wanted to bring the mood down with my baggage. Your mom is amazing and so was your dad. When he passed away, it hit me hard too because I remembered him leaving out a grilled cheese sandwich for me on your nightstand most nights during junior year of high school.”

Ares smiled. “My parents went back and forth on how they felt about a girl constantly sneaking through my window, especially one that had a boyfriend when I also had a girlfriend. But they knew you had it hard at home. We all knew, it’s just … you never talked about it, and I didn’t want to pry.”

“Knowing is one thing, but I didn’t want my friends to pity me. If I wasn’t sneaking through your window to get a good night’s sleep, I was climbing through Ivy’s.”

“And none of us cared.” He gently rubbed the outside of my hand. “Layla, we wanted to be there for you, and even though my parents were great considering my ass was bad as hell growing up, you know the Hood family has a reputation. When I graduated high school, I stopped caring about what folks in the neighborhood said about us.”

“I didn’t care much about what people thought when my dad was in and out of jail when I was growing up. Yet, when he got sent to prison right before college, I couldn’t stand that it was the topic of conversation everywhere I went,” I explained. “Even when some of those folks told me that if I needed any of them they would be there, but guess what? They weren’t.”

“Because some people ain’t shit,” Ares pointed out. “Those who cared about you didn’t talk shit behind your back about your dad getting sent away.”

“For attempted murder,” I added. “You can say it for what it is, Ares. At first, he went away for petty crimes. But attempted murder is gossip worthy. I know your family has had their fair share of scandals, but you have your cousins, uncles. Hell, a whole clan of folks to support you in those situations because issues or not, your family is close. Y’all have each other.”

“And I got you,” he said. “Me, Ivy, Jade, Meek, Tone. All of us got you, Layla. So whatever it is you have going on right now, you ain’t gotta hide shit from me.”

But I do,that inner voice taunted. Because some secrets were better left buried in a place so deep, even the devil himself couldn’t reach it.

“I appreciate that, but back then especially, it seemed all my friends had these stable households, and then there was me. Layla Payne with the fucked-up parents,” I admitted, looking down at the marble floor, not liking the pity party I’d started after stating I never wanted anyone’s pity.

Ares placed his hand under my jaw and lifted my head, a frown on his face, but his eyes full of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. “I never looked at you like that, Layla. Never.”

“I know.” I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, catching him by surprise. “It was more of my own issue, but with us spending time together lately, I’m learning that overthinking everything is overrated. You have to take advantage of the situation and let the people you care about know that they are important to you.” My eyes landed on his lips, and I felt his arms tense in anticipation.

I leaned up on tiptoes as he leaned down, his lips finding mine in a kiss that wasn’t appropriate in the hallway of the company owned by my idol, but after everything that had happened, I felt like we owed this kiss to each other.

ten

Grown Folks Confession #10: It’s a slap in your face to pay thousands in student debt only to realize you learned your biggest life lesson in kindergarten … Play well with others and you’ll go far.

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