Page 22 of Carter's #Undoing

“Did you mean what you said about being open to answering my questions?”

“I meant every word. I’ll try to answer your questions the best I can and you have every right to ask me anything.”

She sighed, locking her eyes to mine. “I think I’m ready to hear what you have to say.”

“Okay.” I wasn’t sure if I was any more prepared to talk than I had been before, but Serenity deserved this. I owed her a conversation. Pushing any doubts I had aside, I dared to ask, “What do you want to know?”

* * *

SERENITY

What didI want to know?It felt like a loaded question if I’d ever heard one. I’d had so many unanswered questions throughout the years, it was hard to believe this was happening.

“Mind if we take this conversation inside?”

He nodded. “Sure. Whatever you want.”

I was familiar with Carter’s kitchen by now, so without asking permission, I put some water in the kettle for tea. I’d always loved tea, but being here, it gave me a sense of comfort that I clung to.

He sat at the table and waited patiently as I made us both some tea and took out some crackers in the cabinet. Neither of us were talking, but the ball was in my court. Worried that I’d keep procrastinating, I finally asked the first question that had been haunting me for over a week since he always seemed to give me the simplest answer when I’ve asked prior. “Why did you really show up after all these years?”

“I meant what I told you before. I’ve crossed paths with some pretty dangerous people and my enemies are after me. I received a tip they would come after you.”

“And you did what? Decide to kidnap me based off this tip? We haven’t even seen each other since we were practically kids.”

“Trust me, the tip was good.” He began rubbing his hands together in a way he used to do when he was nervous to tell me something. Even his scar looked softer with the cautious expression he had on his face. It was strange how I hadn’t thought about his nervous ticks in so long. I didn’t even recall seeing any up until this point, which meant he’d done a good job at keeping his nerves at bay. I wondered what he was so nervous to tell me, when he blurted, “I never stopped thinking about you and all the ways I could have handled everything better. Wondering how much pain I’d caused and how to rectify my actions.”

“If you couldn’t get me out of your head, why did you leave me the way that you did?”

“It was wrong of me to do that to you. At the time, I thought it was best, but you have to believe that one of my biggest regrets in life has been not doing everything in my power to be with you.”

“Do everything in your power?” I stood and began pacing the kitchen. “I don’t get it. One minute, we’re talking about getting married since we’d both turned eighteen. And the next, you join the army without even giving me so much as a good-bye. The man I loved would never have done that to me. Especially after everything that happened.”

Carter’s eyes saddened. “You can say it.”

“Say what,” I retorted.

“You can tell me how much I hurt you after the accident. How the decisions I made after one of the worst days in your life added to the deep hurt you were already feeling.”

I shook my head, my eyes pointed to the floor as I watched one foot walk in front of the other as my pacing slowed down. I’d thought about the day I learned Carter was gone for longer than I’d thought about the day of the accident.

“My mom and stepdad died,” I stated.

He nodded. “Yes, they did.”

“You of all people realized that I was conflicted the day of my mom and stepdad’s funeral, yet, I felt like you barely supported me that day. And then you left early. I had to be alone that night in that messed up house that held more bad memories than good ones. That day changed my life.”

“The day of the accident changed my life, too, Serenity. On one hand, I was the reason my girlfriend’s mom and stepdad were dead. On the other, I was relived because it meant they couldn’t hurt her anymore.”

“We were both in that car,” I told him, sitting back at the table. “We were both being chased down that deserted street by my mom and stepdad. Not just you.”

He clenched his jaw and ran his fingers down his face, his eyes toward the ceiling. “But I was the one who thought I could protect you that night.”

“You did. They wanted to kill us,” I said. “Or did you forget that part?”

“I remember it. I remember all of it.”

I tried to lower my voice. “Then you also remember the abuse I dealt with from them?”

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