Page 21 of Carter's #Undoing

Eight

CARTER

I didn’t have a right to demand that Serenity stop locking herself in her room, but the shit was really starting to get to me. Besides coming down to eat with me in silence, she stayed in her room. And if she was out on the deck and I went out there, she left.

I’d spent the past three days not knowing if I should force her to talk or suck it up and be there when she was ready. I’d spent my entire adulthood practicing the art of not getting too caught up in the days since, for me, surviving to see the next day wasn’t guaranteed. True, nothing in life was, but also, the choices we made each day could affect us for a lifetime.

I may sound like a selfish asshole, but I didn’t regret a damn thing we’d done on my deck. To miss the taste of the woman who was still in every dream I’d ever had since the last day I saw her beautiful face could drive a sane man mad with longing. To fill my mouth with Serenity’s sweet pussy was the best gift I’d gotten in over a decade, and I’d been too wrapped up in the moment to second guess if it was what she needed. Or if it was even what I needed.

Glancing at my watch, I noted that Serenity was due to arrive on the deck the same time she did every day. However, instead of making myself scarce like I had been, I stayed and waited for her to arrive.

On cue, she stepped out wearing leggings, an oversized hoodie, and fuzzy socks. She looked adorable, but she also looked pissed as hell.

“Are you going to stay out here?” she asked.

“Only for a bit.”

Her jaw clenched. “I’ll come back later.”

“Before you do,” I stated, nodding to my left. “I set up something I want you to take a look at.” She eyed me curiously. “Just trust me on this one,” I added. “Please.”

It was thepleasethat got her to reluctantly walk past me until she noticed the large canvas sitting on an easel, paintbrushes, and forty-two color watercolor paint set. Surprise crossed her face as she glanced over her shoulder.

“When did you purchase this?” she asked.

“Years ago,” I admitted. “I never knew if I’d actually ever give it to you, but I’m grateful for this chance.”

She didn’t say anything as she ran her fingers over the paint set. I knew this didn’t make up for anything, but hopefully, it further validated that I was always thinking about her.

“Did you do it on purpose?” she questioned.

“Do what?”

Turning her head, she observed me closely. “Purchase my favorite brand of watercolor paint.”

My nod was slow. “I remembered it being the brand you loved.”

She turned fully to me, her lips pursed. “They discontinued this. How did you manage to get your hands on a set?”

“It was harder than I thought,” I confessed with a slight laugh as I walked to her. “But from what you used to tell me, this is what some of the best watercolor artists’ use. You said if you wanted to be great, there wasn’t a better brand.”

Touching the blank canvas, she muttered, “I was a girl when I said that. Since then, I’ve found quite a few reputable brands.”

“But this is still your favorite,” I stated. “Right?”

She cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowing before she admitted, “That’s right.”

I let her soak it in for a while, thankful that it seemed to bring her some joy. “I figured you could paint something while you’re here. Maybe the scenery will be inspiring.”

“It is.” She glanced around at the grand trees. “I won’t lie to you and say that I haven’t thought about painting this view.”

“It’s definitely a breathtaking one,” I noted, looking solely at her instead of my surroundings. I’d seen these trees a thousand times, but Serenity? I’d imagined her on this deck with me more than a million.

When she looked my way, she bashfully bit her lower lip and rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. “I’m going to make me a snack first and then, I’ll think about what I want to do today. Did you want me to make you anything?”

“I’m good.” She looked like she had something else on her mind as she stood there and observed me instead of going inside right away.

“What is it?” I asked.

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